Miss Cupid
by Freya Bobbissimo
Summary: AU1x2x1COMPLETE. How Relena alias: Miss Cupid accidentally set two completely opposite high school boys Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell up on a blind date! Rated for potty mouths and suggestive humor.
1. Chapter 1

Miss Cupid: Chapter 1  
  
Author: Freya  
  
Disclaimer: GW's not mine, and it won't be for the rest of the chapters I write.  
  
Setting: A random highschool somewhere in the U S of A.  
  
Warnings: A/U, Shounen-ai, 1x2x1 fluff, probably OOC (it's A/U, expect no less) and attempt at humor.  
  
A/N: Enjoy my story! Feedback will be WELL appreciated ;)  
  
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Oh high school, what a wonderful place to be (yeah, right). Especially in the springtime where the flowers bloom and the sun shines down on the aspiring faces of young teens, readying themselves for their next class (what fantasy world do these people live in!?). They say love is in the air for these said teens. The sun shines intently on their smiling faces, engorging themselves in deep mouthed kisses and groping each others behinds shamelessly (now THAT'S more accurate... for an American school that is! Okay, no more crap in parentheses now XP).  
  
"These people need to get a room," boomed one genuinely disgusted Asian teen with obsidian eyes in slits to show his displeasure.  
  
"I know what you mean, Wu," stated a sullen voice to the right of the irked male. His sort-of best friend Duo Maxwell trailed slowly behind him staring absently at all the happy couples lost in their idle banter of worthless nothingness. Duo snorted at that thought. They seemed to be enjoying themselves so much, yet their chatter was so pointless. Or at least it seemed pointless, that was something he and Wufei always agreed on.  
  
Still, Duo thought to himself. He sometimes wished he were one of those kids, those ones with the audacity to make-out in public. It wasn't so much the sexual pleasure from the partner or the making it well known that he wasn't available to anyone else that he sought out. He was just alone, and being alone could suck big when you're an openly pleasant and clingy person.  
  
"Damn you," he whispered to his locker when he was really talking to Wufei.  
  
The Chinese student quirked a curious eyebrow. "Okay, what the hell is it this time?"  
  
"You just had to be straight, didn't you," he asked Wufei while digging through his nightmare of a locker. Wufei shrugged that remark off since he'd heard it, oh, about a thousand times already. He could see where his friend was coming from though. He finds one of the few good guys in the world to fish out and he's straight. Wufei felt a bit sorry for Duo, being a homosexual teenage boy certainly couldn't have been anything easy. Then again, he had more important things to dwell on then his friend's love life... like getting to his class on time.  
  
"Damn it, Duo, the second bell's about to ring. God help you if you make me late for class again."  
  
"Like they actually do anything about it," he muttered gathering the rest of his stuff from his highly disorganized locker. "'You were late! Shame on you! Go sit down!'" he imitated his homeroom teacher.  
  
"Tardiness goes on report cards too, imbecile."  
  
Duo snorted and slammed his locker shut, following his uptight friend with a real chip on his shoulder. He couldn't help it, school put him in a really rotten mood. For any teen, that should've been pretty damn healthy.  
  
Their feet reached the inside of their homeroom just as the bell went off. The teacher at the front desk gave a sort of glare, mostly focused on Duo. It was no secret to Duo that 'that' particular teacher really had it in for him for reasons he didn't know. Not like he gave a sweet flipping damn about it. He had more important things to worry about, like getting his research paper done in that week, getting his geometry homework done before geometry class, and making sure he remembered his gym uniform that day. Two more days of not changing and no credit in that class for that semester.  
  
"Just my stupid luck," he said frowning into his book bag. "I forgot it AGAIN!"  
  
"Quiet everyone!" the teacher yelled as she switched on a vid screen so the morning announcements could be viewed. Duo smiled slightly as another one of his few friends was announcing the weather.  
  
"Ah Hilde," he said to himself in his head. "You just had to be a girl, didn't you?"  
  
After the announcements were through, the bell rang indicating that first class was about to begin. Duo cursed his luck, he had Phys Ed. class first.  
  
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"Hey, what's wrong, babe," said Hilde Schbeiker, Duo's best and only female friend while sliding a comforting arm around him. "You look like hell swallowed you in and farted you back out."  
  
"Gee, thanks," he said taking a swig of his soda. It was currently lunch time, and he already had one detention to serve and two F's on some random stuff he just threw into the trash. "If I stick a french fry up my nose would you stop coddling me and consider me happy?"  
  
Hilde shook her head. "Not this time. As much as I love watching you stick this cafeteria muck they pass off as 'food' up your nose, it's not getting you out of my grasp this time," she said with a temporary play smirk that didn't seem to cure Duo from his morbid state. Then she went serious again. "Tell me, what's wrong?"  
  
"What makes you think anything's wrong," he asked, sticking the cold potato product up his nose anyway and showing it off to the German girl. She pretended to laugh for a second before yanking the the mashed fry out of her friend's nose and quickly flicked it away. She had no chance at stifling her laugh when it hit the prep table and caused about ten girls to scream in complete unison. Ah, a chorus of disturbed preps, what a way to make a person's day. Or a normal person's day, Duo wasn't amused.  
  
Hilde shook her head. "If that can't make you laugh, nothing can. Something's definitely wrong." Hilde grabbed Duo's soda and lifted her eyebrows slightly, receiving a shrug from her friend. It was the twenty- first century way of asking, "Can I have a sip of this?" "Sure, I don't care." Hilde took a swig and placed it back down on the table. "Why'd you get it in diet?"  
  
"Diet actually tastes better," he said finishing off his soda. "Not good for a sugar high, but still good."  
  
She smiled and pinched his side. "You're too skinny for diet drinks. And you're going to tell me what's wrong. I'll keep you down here for the rest of the day if I have to."  
  
Duo arched a questioning brow. "Why? You're an honor role student, your attendance is perfec.... why do you always do this to me?"  
  
"Because I'm a stubborn bitch, that's why," she said grabbing the pressure points in his neck much to her amusement. "Tell meeee, I bet you anything I can help."  
  
The long haired braided boy pondered about that for a second. "How about no. You go to your class and forget I exist for the rest of the day rather then dwelling on my problem with... " Duo paused, and Hilde's eyes pried with fixation.  
  
"With?" she said with her arms crossed. "I swear I will stay down here all day if I must."  
  
It was twenty minutes until the lunch period was over. He figured, ah what the hell? Good old Hilde never let him down. Besides, he hated lying. To say nothing was wrong was a terrible lie, he hated doing it. Sighing in defeat, he and Hilde found another empty table in the darkest corner of the cafeteria where all the goth kids usually sat and put her listening ears on for her friend. "Having dating problems by any chance?"  
  
Hilde smirked when she realized she hit the nail right on the head. First time too! She had to remind herself to gloat to a random teddy bear in her room later.  
  
Duo smirked and brought his arm around Hilde. "Hilde my gal, with the Maxwell charm what makes you think I've got dating problems?"  
  
She blinked once. "Because you're attracted to guys."  
  
The boy blushed and nodded. "Yeah, that's true."  
  
"Not very many people in this school are gay you know. At least not very many who have come out of the closet about it."  
  
"Like us two?"  
  
She nodded, stood, and yanked Duo up by the wrist. "I knew I could help you. I knew it!" she said excited while pulling a piece of plastic that looked like a genuine business card out of her breast pocket. "Here, this'll help."  
  
Duo took one look at the card and shoved it back to her. "Forget it."  
  
She snorted and pushed his hand away. "I knew you'd say that. And I know how stupid it looks, but I'm telling you, she's awesome!"  
  
"This is Relena Peacecraft," Duo said recognizing the picture right away, snorting at the name typed above the picture. "Miss Cupid" was she? "This is the richest girl in school, sister to the best jock in this school's history. You honestly think this girl would even consider hooking me up with anyone?"  
  
Hilde shook her head, the amused look never ceasing. "So, even a boy as isolated from school shenanigans as you knows about Milliardo Peacecraft," she said completely brushing off Duo's last sentence.  
  
Duo half smiled. "I saw his picture. He was pretty hot."  
  
She had to laugh at that. Only Duo could spot out jocks that actually DID look good.  
  
"Will you do it? Relena's always right on the other side of the cafeteria. She takes clients at any time."  
  
Duo looked at the card, observing it pretty closely. Only someone damn rich could pull off making business cards made of more top of the line plastics then even his own school ID. She didn't seem to be smiling her best in the picture, nor was her posture or her hair perfect. Her eyes held no holier then thou attitude in them, and the exact words on the card stated "Come and let me search out a perfect partner for your lonely soul." For someone to put that in such words... though it still didn't seem very reliable.  
  
"Have you ever done this?" Duo finally asked.  
  
Hilde smiled. "Would I have the card if I hadn't, silly?"  
  
"Then where's 'you're' play thing?"  
  
Her eyes twinkled in delight as the second picture emerged from her breast pocket. "She's a freshman in college," Hilde stated proudly. "Her name's Catherine Bloom."  
  
Duo nodded in approval. "She's a real beauty. Relena does off campus people as well, eh?"  
  
"Yup. She doesn't charge very much either. She is rich after all."  
  
His brow arched. "Wouldn't she charge more if she was so damn rich?"  
  
"Usually they do," Hilde said yanking him toward the other side of the cafeteria after checking the clock. "I guess she must be a genuinely nice person then."  
  
A rich girl nice. What were the odds?  
  
It turned out however that Relena was indeed pretty nice. She remembered the whole hook up between Hilde and Catherine and asked how it was going. If she could remember something like that then her business must not have been booming too well. Then she explained shooing the ones who only sought out just sex rather then love. Yet another someone who was disgusted with out of control teenage hormones. He liked her!  
  
"Alright then, Duo! This is his name and the place you'll be meeting him," she said handing out an index card with the name and address written perfectly with one of those shiny purple pens. "When I see him in class later I'll give him your name and where he'll be meeting you. Eight-thirty tonight, got that?"  
  
Duo smiled genuinely at the blonde who was currently ignoring the recited banter about how kind she was from her "friends". She bet her bottom dollar all of them wanted to be her friend because of her social status and not just her. It depressed her in a sense, but the smile Duo had on his face made her day.  
  
"He's a good friend of mine Mr. Maxwell. It took me months to find him a perfect date. I'll make this one free of charge."  
  
The whole table began to clap for Duo, and braided boy bowed. That action made Hilde squeak with pleasure. Nothing like good news and great connections to get a friend to bounce back.  
  
"Thanks a bunch, Miss Relena!" Hilde said saluting her with one hand while taking Duo's arm with the other. She was excited for Duo and started suggesting things Duo and his possible new "boyfriend" could do on a date.  
  
-------- TBC --------  
  
A/N: Eeep, short! This chapter was very short -chews on her pillow- You can probably tell from the weirdness in characterization that this be my first GW fic (or at least the first I had the guts to show off) I'm going to warn you, this is no fic to be taken seriously. Read it out of boredom and enjoy it! You can tell me my grammar sucks too if you must, I know it does. My BETA-reader is on vacation and won't be back until the end of the month ;; Sorry -runs and hides- 


	2. Chapter 2

Miss Cupid: Chapter 2  
  
Author: Freya  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, sue not that brat who wrote this points to self  
  
Setting: A random highschool somewhere in the U S of A.  
  
Warnings: A/U, Shounen-ai, 1x2x1 fluff, probably OOC (it's A/U, expect no less) and attempt at humor.  
  
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"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!" Duo's cries kept growing louder and louder outside Hilde's bedroom.  
  
Hilde growled in annoyance and wiped a trickle of sweat from her brow. "Well Mr. Tough-guy, this is what happens when you grow your hair down to your ass and don't use conditioner. Now hold still, you're only making it worse," she said in a way that drowned out his irksome ow-ing. Combing Duo's hair was never a task to be taken lightly. Hilde was already on her third comb since his massive waves of tangled hair that blanketed his entire back already swallowed the teeth of two others.  
  
"I've only tried asking Sister Helen about buying me hair conditioner five or six dozen times. Then, just before I can, a kid just happens to spill something, break something, draw on something, puke on somethin-owwwww," he said cringing as Hilde's third comb finally got completely stuck in his hair and was lodging into his cranium. "Living in a church orphanage can really suck sometimes. Hey, why'd you stop?"  
  
"How in Bob's name do you keep this massive bird's nest tamed? Do you shower and sleep with this braid in your hair?"  
  
Duo turned around and gave her a mock confused look. "Who's Bob?"  
  
"Shut up, Duo," she said while pulling out her hair brush. "You'll need some of that hair detangling stuff. I think I've got some on my dresser."  
  
The room went dead silent for a moment and a far less-than-amused vein suddenly emerged on Duo's forehead. "You mean you've been yankin' half the hairs out of my skull with your combs of doom when you've had hair products to untangle my hair this whole time," he inquired all at once.  
  
Hilde shrugged. "Yep."  
  
Duo sweat-dropped and toppled over, feet twitching in the air (you know, the whole anime thing.) He had to remind himself that next time he prepared for a date, let it be Wufei that had to put up with him. At least the Chinese boy wouldn't get a bunch of comb teeth stuck in his precious hair.  
  
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"Order #212, #212, hey!" an irritated voice shouted over the intercom. "I hate this stupid job."  
  
"Tough day, Heero?" someone murmured to the overworked teenage male. This voice belonged to a blonde with sunglasses and hair tied back in a ponytail. The said blonde also had a red jersey with the number six on it, baggy blue jeans, and a backwards baseball cap on their head. Heero Yuy, the annoyed cashier, only knew of one lady who dressed in her brother's clothing like this.  
  
"Can I take your order, sir," he said nodding slightly at his friend then lowered his voice. "Parents or peers?"  
  
"I'll take a burger and a vanilla coke," stated that mock masculine voice. "Both."  
  
"Coming right up.... uhh," he said that last part quietly. The said girl underneath all that jock-wear was none other then his former girlfriend Relena. He cared for this girl much like a sister now but couldn't stand dating her. From the moment he did about a year ago, he went from dangling at the bottom of the social food chain where he liked it to being right there on the top with the preptards. Once it really began to bother him to the point where he'd just punch any kid that came with in a five foot radius of him, he and Relena broke up and only saw each other as friends like this.  
  
Quickly Heero fetched her a veggie burger and a diet vanilla coke, knowing full well she didn't want to eat anything fatty. If she was so much as one pound over weight her parents would have a cow.... literally! Since she was a sort of hippie-pacifist-person, they'd literally have her watch a cow get slaughtered to show her what she'd been eating. She still had nightmares from the last time that happened.  
  
"You get a nice view of the beach from here," she said taking a seat at the counter Heero was standing behind. He worked at a fast food shack by the pier in their hometown. Relena was right, the view of the beach was nice, and it got even better at sunset. The thing he hated about it was that kids liked to order things, forget about them, and leave wasting perfectly good food he had prepared. He had a gut feeling some of them did it on purpose because they hated him for "breaking Relena's heart" so to speak. Yeah right, he thought to himself. She was just as, if not MORE happy to get out of that dead relationship.  
  
Relena took her precious time eating, looking at Heero for a bit then looking back at the beach. She noticed, Heero was an extremely gorgeous guy. Well built, pretty eyes, nice face, and well, he was dead sexy. She half expected him to be seeing someone else within a weeks time of their break up... only half because dating wasn't really his thing. Hell, her best friend Dorothy Catalonia had her eyes on Heero even before he and Relena began dating. Then it hit Relena as soon as she felt she had to burp. It was time to play little Miss Cupid.  
  
"Heero, you look miserable," she said while digging into her pocket in pursuit of her wallet. "I mean really, you're in serious need of a girlfriend."  
  
He snorted, then counted up the money in to cash register to make sure there wasn't any money missing. His shift was nearly over. "Why?"  
  
She giggled at the sudden narrow gaze Heero gave her. "Here."  
  
Relena pulled two index cards out of her pocket by mistake and dropped them both when she really did have to burp. Hey, she was a rich girl! She was taught that it was proper to cover your mouth when you burp, and therefore in her panicked state she let those cards drop. It was loud and it embarrassed her to no certain extent. It was a damn good thing she was trying to be a guy and belching was pretty masculine. Heero couldn't stop laughing.  
  
"It's more convincing when you don't cover your mouth like that." Relena tossed the veggie burger wrapper at him for that but missed. Sometimes Heero could be such an asshole.  
  
She cleared her throat. "As I was saying, here," she said while thrusting what she -thought- was the right index card at his face. "She'll meet you there at eight o'clock.  
  
He sighed in defeat and took the card. "Fine, but if this SHE is Dorothy again, I will murder you."  
  
"I'm sure you will."  
  
With that said, she paid for her food faster then you could say Duo Maxwell. And the shiny purple ink on Heero's card that reflected sunlight off the card reminded her. She'd forgotten to give Duo's date his card during trigonometry class. She shrugged it off though. She could always just call the boy up when she got home... if they weren't ringing off the hook that was. Being rich, pretty, and popular really sucked.  
  
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"Aww Duo, you look great," Hilde said while looking at a cute picture of him at five holding a teddy bear. "Are you done getting dressed yet?"  
  
Duo shouted something from inside the bathroom he was changing in. Hilde actually managed to brush out his hair and find cloths that suited him. Having a lesbian punk for a friend was awesome (I should know, I have many of them!) She could share her clothing with Duo. And sometimes Duo needed good clothing, churches weren't exactly rich. It made her happy to help too, Duo was much too attractive and sweet to be single. At least in her opinion.  
  
The door to the bathroom opened, reveling a happy Duo. "Thank you," he said and bent over to give her a hug when he reached her. Then he looked down at the picture of little him. "Where'd you get that?"  
  
"It's been in my photo album for years. Somehow it was on my bedroom floor."  
  
Duo looked dumbfounded for a second then shoved his hands in Hilde's infamous Hot Topic pants pockets. The kind of pants that were black and baggy with about twenty different pockets, sliver hoops, black straps hanging down off them in random places, the bottoms dragged across the floor, and you know, the hot stuff! His black shirt clung to his chest beautifully and had a picture of The Mooninites on them saying "Plutonians are the suck!" (grrrrrrr, I want his shirt OO) Then the final piece to describe was a rainbow striped long sleeve shirt underneath. Duo looked fantastic, especially with his trademark braid swishing behind him.  
  
"Who ever your mystery man is they're gonna love you. You look better in my clothes then I do."  
  
He smiled big, looked at himself in the mirror, and did several poses. He even did the moon walk for Hilde just to hear her laugh. It was getting late, and he had a date. Okay, so the mood wasn't so happy that I had to rhyme.  
  
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A pair of dark prussian blue eyes stared down at a sparkly silver watch that read 8:20. Heero growled a deep throated growl. Dorothy was late, twenty minutes late no less. Hell, he wasn't stupid. He knew Relena thought they'd make a great couple... not to mention Dorothy was the only girl willing to date him after the dreaded 'break-up'. She didn't have a choice. Heero didn't have anything better to do though. He had a boring life, few friends, and was more then a little anti-social. People pissed on him to bloody hell and it didn't bother him. Hell, it amused him! It was funny, because high school dorks like them were -bleep, honk- stupid (well, this fic is PG-13. I don't have the right to drop the F-bomb) And the author will stop rambling about it now!!  
  
He snarled a bit louder in monotone but didn't really mean it. It was mock anger, so he wouldn't feel guilty about leaving Dorothy hangin'. Hell, right now SHE was leaving HIM hangin'! Why the -bleep, honk- should he care?  
  
He turned around to leave once the sparkle watch read 8:30. He wasted a good half hour of not being on his laptop doing what he thought was basic guy stuff... like looking at porn, reading yuri fanfics, downloading software, the works! Before he could head off, he felt someone tap on his shoulder. He thought it was Dorothy.  
  
"Kuso," he whispered.  
  
"So? So what?" inquired the voice of Duo Maxwell staring at the Yuy's back. "I'm not late, where are you going?"  
  
Heero turned around to face the one who spoke to him. He arched one brow. "Who the hell are you?"  
  
-------- TBC --------  
  
A/N: Heeee -squish- so they meet! Chapter two, and I left it at a cliffy! -ish all ebil and shtuffs-He heh he e, this is going to be fun! w00t!!! to all of ya who have reviewed my ficcy! I was pleased to see people actually liked it, I'm not used to writing humor LOL.  
  
Oh, and since you've taken the liberty of responding to me, I shall respond to you :D -hugs all who reviewed and who will review- And thank the ever wonder Lita Pern for BETA-reading this chap!  
  
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Cyrrer- Of course I made Relena nice. I think she's awesome! (I am perfectly aware others don't like her, but I don't really care) Like I said, don't take this fic seriously. Read it only to get your 1x2x1 kicks, kay . And that'll go for any other GW fic I make in the future (I have forty-bazillion ideas for 1x2x1 fics alone. There WILL be more OO)  
  
sophisticatedshoes- Is this hurried enough for ya? Dude! I try not to be hard on myself. I've written some crappy fics in the past so I'm prone to thinking everything I write sucks ; It's a habit XP  
  
Angel Reid- Eeee, thank you for the lovin' of mah ficcy!! :D  
  
camillian- It is odd. Then again, I have an odd way of thinking, so it all fits. I think the idea of Relena hooking Heero & Duo up is cute, and therefore this fic was created -  
  
BabyTraci- Mine too! XD Glad you like!  
  
Lita Pern- -squeaks and hugs- Thanks for BETA-reading and making all those lovely compliments and critisisms. That's exactly what I need from BETA- reader! I'm glad I have you hooked!! Stick around for awhile will ya?  
  
Ink2- You sure you didn't find any, because I always make them XD Thanks for the feedback 3  
  
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Final note: Feedback of any kind will make all who have read gods to me -bows- 


	3. Chapter 3

Miss Cupid: Chapter 3  
  
Author: Freya  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, sue not that brat who wrote this points to self  
  
Setting: A random highschool somewhere in the U S of A.  
  
Warnings: A/U, Shounen-ai, 1x2x1 fluff, probably OOC (it's A/U, expect no less) and attempt at humor.  
  
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"What!?" Duo said sounding confused and a just a bit angry. "What do you mean 'who am I?' Just who are you?"  
  
Heero snorted. "Why in the hell should I tell you if you're gonna to cop that kind of attitude?"  
  
They paused for a second and took a moment to breathe. Duo looked at the boy, noting Heero had on jock-ish clothing. He wore the big blue jeans that fell half-way down his ass, the over-sized black hoodie to cover his would-be exposed boxer shorts, the more-expensive-then-your-house sneakers, and all that jazz. If Relena was as good as Hilde said she was then this most definitely wasn't his guy.  
  
"Look," Duo said sounding much more calm and pleasant. "Sorry about that. I'm just... "  
  
Heero rose a brow when Duo stopped. So a punk-ass kid actually had the guts to apologize to someone just after snapping at them? Heero felt like smiling about that but didn't. Then he noticed what Duo was holding in his hand.  
  
"May I see that?" Heero asked in a soft, almost polite tone. Duo's gut clenched at the sound of the other boy's voice. Sexy couldn't even begin to describe what he thought of it.  
  
Though he felt reluctant, Duo gave in and handed over his index card to the curious male who stood before him. It came as no surprise to Duo when Heero's eyes shot up. That's basically what always happened when someone found out that he was into guys. Next to follow the eyes was the 'eww, you're GAY!', the long ass speech about why his sexuality was wrong, and the 'stay the hell away from me or I'll catch your weirdness.' Yet again, he was prepared for the ignorance of screwed over teens, lucky him (sarcastic)  
  
"God, Relena's such a sucker," Heero's gruff voice spoke out in a exasperated tone.  
  
Duo jumped in surprise, not expecting the words that flew from Heero's lips to have anything to do with Relena. "W-what?"  
  
"She sympathizes for homosexuals so much she doesn't even realize which assholes fake it," Heero said then began ripping the card apart.  
  
"Hey, stop that! That was my date you jerk."  
  
Heero rolled his eyes and threw the shredded card off to the side. "I know, and this 'jerk' just saved you from it."  
  
Duo screamed and stomped his foot, grabbing the attention of everyone within a fifty foot radius. "Saved!? Because I'm gay, right!?"  
  
Heero latched onto Duo's shoulders and held him still so he'd calm down. The sudden touch of Heero's large masculine hands squeezing his tense shoulders made him down-right weak in the knees. He stared right in between Yuy's open arms and found the sudden urge to bury himself in them. He shook that thought off in an instant and realized he was nearly in tears. This jock-boy wasn't his date. He didn't even know this boy's name; his sexuality.  
  
Everyone began to walk off slowly and turned their face away quickly once Heero shot them a cold glare.  
  
The dark haired boy then turned his face back to Duo's. "Calm down, he's not worth it. That dick-head's a real playboy," Heero whispered seriously to the braided boy. Duo wasn't impressed, despite the sincerity Heero's eyes held. Pretty blue eyes weren't going to fool him. He wasn't nearly as dumb as people thought he was.  
  
"What are you now, God? How the hell do you know that?"  
  
Heero removed his hands from Duo's shoulders then turned around half way so his side was facing Duo. His arms were crossed. "That is personal."  
  
"Ah," Duo choked out due to his current mood. Tonight was supposed to be a happy night with the boyfriend he never had before. He swallowed hard, feeling that sting all the way down his throat that told you yeah, you're about to cry mister. In spite of all that was going wrong at the moment, he smiled and nodded at Heero as his way of thanking him. Then he turned away once his tears finally surfaced.  
  
Heero nearly had a panic attack once he heard Duo's first sob. It wasn't as if he hadn't heard or seen boys cry before, just not in this kind of situation. He didn't think the truth would affect Duo this badly. Then Heero figured that the saddened teen must not've been used to dating due to their mostly straight school.  
  
Heero placed a shaky hand on the other boy's shoulder and Duo turned sharply. This wasn't what Heero would've normally done, but right now his date was forty minutes late and he really did feel sorry for Duo. Swallowing his manly pride, Heero laced one arm around Duo's shoulders and cracked a weak smile at him. "Lets go. I'll buy you a cheese burger or something."  
  
On reflex, Duo wrapped his arms tightly around Heero, nearly squeezing the breath out of him, than smiled in spite of his tears. "Thank you... uh... "  
  
"Hee.. ro Yuy," the other male managed to get out, though he couldn't really breathe at the moment. "Uh... y-you mind?"  
  
"Oh." Duo took a step back and rubbed the back of his head nervously. "I scared you didn't I, Heero?" Duo said with a semi-amused look on his face just after he finished wiping away the last of his tears.  
  
Heero brushed his cloths off with an irritated frown on his face. This was probably the stupidest thing he'd ever done. Damn his empathetic ways to hell, he thought. "Yes. If you squeezed any harder you would've fractured my rib cage."  
  
"That's not what I meant," Duo said walking along side of Heero once he got moving. "You know."  
  
"No, I don't know." Heero pulled a huge wad of cash out of his pocket. Hey, Relena, Dorothy, any other rich prep, they were all alike, nice personality or not. He expected to spend about a hundred-some dollars at a five star restaurant, then spend about four-hundred dollars on a shopping spree at the mall (some date huh?) Perhaps even more if they wanted to hang out at the pier. Damn rich girls and their chronic shopping addiction.  
  
Heero looked at Duo who smiled at him warmly. That smile, he sure did recover fast after that awkward outburst. Damn, Duo sure could have one hell of a hissy-fit. Heero warned himself to be careful of this one.  
  
"By the way," Heero said once he'd finished counting up all his money. Five hundred was what he had to kill, or perhaps not. Since he was going to be hanging out with another guy this evening, he knew his precious cash wouldn't be going anywhere near malls or whatnot. At least he hoped not. In any case, since he wasn't accompanied by a shop-o-holic he'd have plenty of time and money to waste that night. Might as well know a few basic things about his new partner in crime. "What is your name?"  
  
"Duo," the punk blurted out so suddenly. "Duo Maxwell."  
  
"Maxwell... you mean the church?"  
  
Duo blushed, completely embarrassed that he'd been found that soon. He didn't know why it was so embarrassing, it was his choice to live at Maxwell church after all. He just assumed Heero had a loving family waiting for him to come home sometime that evening.  
  
"You don't have to be embarrassed. I'm in foster care." Duo assumed wrong. He knew foster parents could suck ass, therefore he stayed at the church since he kept making himself purposely get sent back.  
  
"O-oh," Duo stammered out. "Really?"  
  
Heero nodded, then turned his attention toward the pier. There were festivities going on that night due to it being a holiday weekend. He thought Duo would like going there. If nothing else the food was really good. It felt strange to him, just blurting the fact that he was a foster baby out to some stranger he just met so suddenly. It must've been the whole crying thing. Those kind of things really got to Heero, though he'd take that admission straight to the grave with him. He didn't even know this boy for an hour and already Duo Maxwell had quite an impact on him.  
  
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"Damn, this stuff is good," Duo said after just swallowing a large bite of a super-sized double-bacon cheese burger with onions and pickles. Heero sweet-dropped and watched as his company inhale his food like a void into the next dimension. Good thing the night shift had waiters, as opposed to the day shift which he hated working with a passion. Why this place didn't have waiters during the day was beyond him. Why a fast food joint had waiters at all baffled him. Probably just to make this place more money or something.  
  
Duo finished that huge burger on the forth or fifth bite. Maxwell church obviously wasn't wealthy enough to get decent portions of food for the kids. Either that or Duo's stomach was a bottomless pit. He actually hoped it was the later after awhile, watching Duo scarf down his food like a monster was actually amusing. Boy did he need to get out more often.  
  
"Order and eat to your liking. Odin Lowe's a rich man and this place serves cheap food." Heero patted the wallet in his pants pocket then looked down at his own finished meal. He decided to order a little more. Hell, he was in the company of another guy. Modesty wasn't needed now, it was just a stupid habit he formed against his will.  
  
"That's your foster dad!? I heard he was a convicted felon at one time."  
  
Heero snorted. "He was, but since he had a good lawyer he was able to get off easy."  
  
"After he... ?"  
  
"Politicians are nothing but crooks. Everyone knows that."  
  
"True." Duo ordered a second helping of food after getting the okay from Heero. He was drowning his sorrows in a sea of fast food and felt down right pathetic. Then again, Yuy didn't seem so bad. Heero just may have been an orphan just like himself. Perhaps his real parents were disgusting and abusive. In any case, the boy that sat across from him at the small- circular-outdoor-food-court table knew the troubles of adoption. However, Heero was rich and Duo was poor. The long haired boy should've been bloody jealous, but he wasn't. He was too engrossed in the looks, actions and personality of his new jock buddy. Heero Yuy was drop-dead gorgeous, not to mention he was a really nice guy so far. Duo was dreaming right now, he had to be (if he lived in my world he would be.)  
  
"Life sucks and then you die I guess," said Duo. Then their waiter brought Duo a box of fries. "Hey, would you laugh if I stuck one of these up my nose?"  
  
"No," Heero said sipping the soda that was right by his arm. "But you're gonna do it anyway, aren't you?"  
  
"At school, I always do it for my friend, Hilde," Duo said with an amused voice and a face full of fries.  
  
Heero's brows rose. "Schbeiker?"  
  
"I guess you'd know her. She does the morning announcements, is head of the Student Advisory Board, and was this school's best goalie for the ice hockey team," he added that last part in proudly since he could remember helping her get to that point. "Hilde-girl's been my best friend forever."  
  
"I remember her from elementary school," Heero chimed in. "A lot of kids used to pick on her."  
  
Heero asked the waiter for their check. He almost didn't want to know what to bill was or how much of a tip he owed.  
  
Duo stared down at his empty french fry box sadly. "They still do. It's mostly because she's a lesbian now. But, if I know my Hilde I know she's damn well better at letting those kind of insults slide then I am."  
  
The bill Heero paid actually didn't turn out to be so bad, even though it was over thirty dollars. Then he thought of what Duo was saying before. His friend was a real trooper. "She doesn't fight them."  
  
"Not on campus, her parents would give her hell. But, if I recall she said something like 'stupid fights were only meant for stupid people.' She was basically saying it was dumb to fight on school grounds, but everywhere else.... do not mess with her."  
  
"Hn." Heero couldn't quite agree with that one. He'd gotten into plenty of 'stupid fights' and he didn't consider himself stupid. It was a better idea not to fight in school, even though that's where screw-balls like to pick on who they think are 'the small people' the most.  
  
"Is there anything else you want to do, Duo?"  
  
Duo's eyes widened at the simple question. Heero wanted to do more? Even after Duo had practically tossed his money straight into hell with his depressive appetite? Something was sure different about that Heero boy.  
  
"Are you starting to consider this a date, Heero-buddy?" Duo asked, almost as if he were challenging Heero.  
  
The prussian eyed one stared at what was a complete stranger only about an hour ago. He didn't really have an answer for that. Hell, he didn't, nor did he ever have a firm grasp on just what his sexuality was. He always assumed that he liked girls, yet having Duo around was giving him a feeling. A really good feeling actually. And hell, spending over thirty dollars on food rather then 'that cute shirt' was a major plus. He offered Duo his arm and looked out toward the pier's festivities.  
  
"Who knows, Maxwell? You might just get lucky."  
  
-------- TBC --------  
  
A/N: Awww hell, not as funny as the last two chapters, but the next one will more then make up for this chap's fluff (sap XP) I gots a plan see, and it involves.... well I really can't tell you that right now, can I? Let's just say it's evil in a funny sort of way. Next chap, festivities! A spring festival at a pier! Perhaps our boys will play some whack-a-mole, ride on da rolly-coaster, or maybe the ever cliché -cough- -cough- tunnel of... yeah =P  
  
I'm in such a yaoi-ful mood. My friend Shera got Gravitation on DVD! The dub voices reek, but otherwise I was so happy to finally see it in English!!! Gravi = yaoi-tastic love (sex) -drooooool- I wonder if anyone besides me can see the potential in Duo and Shuichi Shindou becoming a couple. That'd be so crazy LOL. Heero and Yuki would be dead jealous and they know it ;)  
  
Not BETA-read so please try to understand why I probably left about a thousand mistakes in there . Oh well. And now -turns on a radio, pulls down a rope, and watches as GW bishie plush toys fall over all who have reviewed- "It's raining men, everybody!!" XD  
  
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sophisticatedshoes- So enthusiastic to get my bum in gear are ye? Good! It shows you like whatever the hell I'm doing here. Thanks for reviewing yet again -bows-  
  
Angel Reid- -bows, then praises to a frighteningly large extent- Duo and da Yuy doing funky things with each other.... one word, yum! Great, now my train of thought is becoming lost o.o; Not that that's a bad thing. At least it's getting lost in a nice place -grins all naughty like-  
  
Cyrrer- I should've but my BETA-reader was taking too long (no offense Lita, unlike me you've probably got a life) Also -bows- you like my work, and therefore I think you rule. Now I feel all happy and whatnot :)  
  
Dragonheart287- It's probably the line I'll end up using if I ever meet a nice girl at school. Duo shall make you laugh more, woman!! He's a crazy mofo!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Glad to see you're reading AND reviewing cuz -hugs and bows because now you deserve worship too!-  
  
Meepu- Questionable are they? -ponders- Hey, you're right! They are, aren't they? LMAO, well, just stick with us and we'll all find out whether Relena's little "mistake" will have been a good thing.... or not! -bows to you too- Thanks for the review!  
  
Lita Pern- Eeep, sorry! I knew I should've waited, but I am very impatient. I've got to finish this fic before the end of August. So yeah, I need to make hurried updates. I hope you'll forgive me. Thanks for putting up with me so far -hugs-  
  
Ink2- Dorothy's the only other person I could think of o.o; As for the other G-boys, I don't think they will. They may get mentions, but that's about it. -bows- Reviewed again! Yaaay!! I feel hearted =)  
  
JC Maxwell-Yuy- -bows- And continued I did. Thanks for reading =D  
  
Shera-girl- Define what you mean by "blow" his "head" XD Damn, first the hot-like-sex review, now "blowing heads" off. You people want yaoi-gasmic lemonade don't ya? Nah, can't do that (sorry, hates me XP) Pissed? I thought you didn't swear, Shera! Finally you loosen up! A vacation was just what you needed XD Welcome to Gundam Wing yaoi -hugs and bows for the review-  
  
camillian- Lena knows he's a guy (look back to chapter one, she calls him 'Mr.' Maxwell) Thanks for the review! Happy to hear that it's interesting -bows and bows again-  
  
Dark Kaizer Ken-Wolf- Hi hi =) Thanks for the review!! Here was the update, and here -bows to you- is your complimentary bow!  
  
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Final Note: First chap had 7 reviews, this chap had 11! Can the next one have 15? (or more!?) I crave feedback so much it's not even funny... but you can laugh anyway because I am LOL. 


	4. Chapter 4

Miss Cupid: Chapter 4  
  
Author: Freya  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, sue not that brat who wrote this points to self  
  
Setting: A random pier somewhere in the U S of A.  
  
Warnings: A/U, Shounen-ai, 1x2x1 fluff, probably OOC (it's A/U, expect no less) and attempt at humor.  
  
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"Squish, squish, squishy!" Duo giggled. "Life sure is grand when you're as easily amused as I am."  
  
Heero snorted at the reference Duo was making. It was a prize he won; Pikachu stress reliever (and we all want one of those!) It cost macho man three-hundred arcade tickets, which he thought to be a total rip off. But, he let Duo pick out the prize so it was his own damn fault.  
  
The place they headed off to to receive this said prize was the arcade located right by the pier. Duo had brought along about twenty dollars and decided blowing it off on video games and such was alright, as long as Heero was in. Not really in much of a protesting mood (since Heero spent exactly four hours before his date putting himself out of one) he decided whatever cheap little games kept Duo spending his own quarters kept money in Heero's wallet. By now at least three-fourths of his cash would've been gone. It was a good thing he took his foster dad's advice. Odin quotes: "Never bring credit cards with you on a date with a rich woman, unless you want to spend your whole night bouncing between fifty different first class clothing and cosmetic stores."  
  
Inwardly, Heero cringed. He could see Relena getting tired after awhile, but Dorothy? Nuh-uh, Dorothy would attempt milk his bank dry just to amuse herself, then pay him back a month later in mock spite to make him feel like less of a gentleman. Oh well, she would pay him back at least, and they'd both end up laughing about it at the end.  
  
"I didn't think anybody could actually be good at that game. You scored more tickets on that baby alone then I usually do in one stay."  
  
"Heh, I spent fifteen dollars worth of quarters on it while you challenged all those punks at that Mortal Kombat game," Heero admitted. "You up for doing something else now?"  
  
Duo poked at his stress reliever, making rude noises with his mouth as he did so. "Nah, not just yet."  
  
The darker haired boy crossed his arms and lent up against a machine that read 'Out of Order'. "Do you expect me to stand here and watch you pretend to make that thing fart all night?"  
  
"But, you think it's cute," Duo joked, and Heero's gaze narrowed sending a cold shiver down his spine. "Alright, alright, don't eat me alive with that glare."  
  
"What glare?"  
  
Duo blinked a few times, decided the hell with this stupid thing, and............................................................ jammed the freakin' Pokemon toy in his pocket. "Nah Yuy, I was only joking. Can't you take a joke?"  
  
"Of course I can," he retaliated, not liking the far too amused took on Duo's face at the moment.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really!"  
  
"Really, really?"  
  
"Really, really!!"  
  
"Really, really, really??"  
  
"A man walked into a bar and asked the bar tender for... "  
  
Duo burst out into a fit of hysterical laugher, now depending on Heero's 'Out of Order' machine to keep him balanced. If he was right, sir Yuy was about to tell one of the funniest jokes in the world. He quickly regained his posture and breath recovered. He looked Heero straight in the eye and piped, "... six shots of whisky?"  
  
"That joke's a classic." He took a quick look around to make sure no kids were walking by. Though he saw none, he lowered his voice anyway just to avoid publicity. "The bartender asks "What, are you celebrating something?"  
  
Out of no where, a third party piped in from the side of them. "Heero, you... um... dweeb. Is that the only joke you know?"  
  
Heero and Duo silenced themselves for a minute, taking the opportunity to feast their eyes upon the third party. Heero knew who it was right away, but Duo.... Duo smelled something fishy.  
  
"Erm... good evening, Rel-kun." Heero held out his hand to the supposed 'male' that'd just hit the scene and shook 'his' hand. Duo observed this person for a bit while Heero seemed to be discussing casual things with 'him'.  
  
"I thought you'd be here with Dorothy." That voice, Duo thought, sounded awfully familiar. And he knew the one underneath that jersey wasn't male. Oh no, like some people had gay-dar, Duo Maxwell had sex-dar. He knew a man when he saw one, and that was no man.  
  
"The bitch stood me up."  
  
"Hey, don't call her a bitch." Ah-ha! Passion always caught one off guard. Duo knew precisely who this was now, thanks to them dropping the mock masculine voice. He had quite a bone to pick with 'him'.  
  
"Excuse me Rel... kahn?" Duo said with as much innocence in his voice as girlishness in 'his' voice. "Erm... my friend Hilde told me a friend of mine didn't send two different couples to the same place on a date."  
  
The jock 'boy' in the same red number six jersey and backwards baseball cap gulped. Duo knew her secret.... and wait... why was Duo even there??  
  
"I thought I set you up with... " she started then stopped. Then she realized exactly what had happened. There was no other explanation. She'd accidentally given Heero the wrong card, setting both he and Duo up. She felt beyond stupid at this moment. "Damn... I'm such an idiot."  
  
Feeling remorse, Heero did his best to assure Relena that she wasn't an idiot by buying them all milkshakes and allowing her to linger with them on the pier's boardwalk for a bit. She couldn't stay for too long since she had a curfew, yet it was nice to know that her mishap actually made Heero happy. Heero had been smiling when she discovered him and had even been telling jokes. A loving fate sealed by one beyond embarrassing belch from a bottle of Diet Vanilla Coke. She was some cupid alright. Or perhaps it was just because Coke will always rein supreme. One can never tell.  
  
"While you two lunk heads were busy playing games in that arcade you missed the fireworks."  
  
Heero took a sip of his milkshake. "No, you missed the chance to watch Duo and I kiss beneath them. That's what you're really saying."  
  
Duo blushed and elbowed Heero in the arm none too lightly. "He-e-ey, I thought you didn't consider this an official date yet."  
  
"Did you miss the part where I told you that you may get lucky?"  
  
"Oh." Duo grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head (Duo was doing a Goku LOL!) "I didn't just blow it by leaving a Texas sized bruise on your arm, did I?"  
  
Heero laughed and shook his head. "You give yourself way too much credit."  
  
Out of the blue, Relena whipped out a camera and took a surprise shot of them. Duo was blinking the dots out of his eyes while Heero attempted to snatch at the disposable camera out of her hand. Unfortunately, Relena had the height advantage. "Why'd you do that? You know I hate it when you take pictures of me."  
  
Relena lifted her Rel-kun shades to her forehead just to show them the glee in her eyes. "You'll understand why I took this later. I'd tell you now, but I risk jinxing it."  
  
"Jinxing what, Rel? What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
Relena pressed her lips together, zipped them shut, and threw away the key. Well, not literally, but you should know what I mean.  
  
"Oh, if that's how it's gonna be then fine." He looked over at his partner, winked, and turned back to Relena. "Duo, I have something I need to tell you."  
  
Duo grinned. "Are we gonna have a baby?"  
  
Relena choked on her milkshake, causing Heero to laugh since he knew exactly what was on her... uh... interesting little mind. "Even better."  
  
"Ooooh, even better then... He.. ero Maxwell jr." The stifle in Duo's laughter at the moment was beginning to put him in tears, especially the part where Relena had gone from choking on her milkshake the coughing it up laughing. He was starting to get JUST a widdle idea where Heero was headed. "Whatever could be better?"  
  
"Wai... wait, Heero," Relena said, swallowing a lot while trying to catch her breath. "Don't tell him." But, who could take a girl who was straining while trying not to laugh seriously? Even she knew she wasn't being convincing in the least.  
  
Duo took a quick look at her then directly back at Heero. "Oh, I've gotta know this... even though I've got a pret-ty good idea what you're about to tell me, Yuy."  
  
O' braided one cleared his throat, made a pretty cool sounding drum roll with his fists against the walkway's railing, and shot Relena the most utterly amused and accusing look she'd ever seen. She gulped, and awaited her awful fate.  
  
"Oh, you have 'white stuff' dribbling down your chin by the way."  
  
Relena gave that remark a less then dignified outburst of laughter, for it wasn't every day she was spoken to in this kind of diverse manner. "Hey Relen.. err... Rel-con... whatever, rod, rubber, wood, head, sac, ball, shaft, release!!"  
  
"Oh, you've released something alright," Heero said, sweat-dropping at Relena's embarrassing fit of abrupt laughter. Poor dignified rich girl, so graceful, so beautiful, and a closet pervert. "You've released the demon in her."  
  
Well, you had to admit. It made sense. Milliardo was a grade A, top of the line, pure jock-boy. She learned from the masta!  
  
"Oh my, not even Hilde laughs this much when I break out penis jokes."  
  
Oh the dreaded 'P' word lead Relena not only to hiccups and a nose bleed while she nearly laughed the life straight out of her, but also a few worried stares from the public. Heero briefly wondered if anyone informed the funny farm that their was a crazy on the loose.  
  
"Damn, I -hic- got blood all over the jersey."  
  
"Milly's gonna kill you, Rel."  
  
"Don't remind me." She hiccupped. "I'm going to go home now before I end up wetting his jeans."  
  
"S'been a 'blast'! A 'pleasure' seeing you again," Duo said through unrefined laughter.  
  
Relena headed off into the night quickly, thankfully all laughed out because now her stomach was cramping. That Duo was just too much for a little one like herself to handle. She had a hunch, just a tiny hunch that Heero was going to fall for him whether he was straight or not. Opposites attract after all, and since she and Heero were best friends, Duo would make her life more interesting as well. She'd have to pray pretty hard tonight then.  
  
"Welcome to Loserville, Miss Relena," she whispered to herself with a smile on her face. (Loserville = Heaven ;) )  
  
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"Oh, ho ho ho HO! It's on now you little bastards!!!" Duo began going totally nuts on the whack-a-mole machine, successfully scaring away a total of thirty-seven people within a fifty foot radius of him and Heero. The much more composed of the two-some watched in awe as his mate beat the crap out of that poor machine. He'd long since prepared himself to run the hell out of there, dragging Duo along with him so they both could avoid having to pay for the soon-to-be busted machine.  
  
"Duo, I think you've had enough."  
  
The braided one roared and spun around to face Heero. "I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH!"  
  
Oh great, now they sounded like a whimpy bar tender and his much too drunk customer.  
  
As Heero predicted, Duo had pretty much beaten the whack-a-mole machine to death and he had to make their escape before somebody phoned the cops.  
  
"Duo. You, are THE craziest person I have EVER met."  
  
"Why thank ya!" Duo said that with a voice full of pride. Heero thought this whole drag-poor-depressed-dateless-boy for a few hours would be just that. So far, it was watch him poke at annoyingly yellow stress reliever, get Relena to laugh herself into a nose bleed, and beat an annoying kids game to oblivion. And all the while he's only spent about fifty dollars on Duo. He'd never spent so little money in this amount of time his whole life, nor has he been so damn entertained.  
  
"Hey Maxwell, want to head back?"  
  
Duo immediately thought Heero had lost it. "Hell no! I might end up getting sued."  
  
"I didn't mean the whack-a-mole machine. I meant the pier."  
  
Duo pretended to think about it, then found his eyes fixed on the roller coaster. Heero followed his gaze and snorted. Somehow, he just knew Duo was going to want to ride that thing.  
  
"The line'll be long," Heero informed. "Are you sure you want to spend most of your 'date' waiting in line?"  
  
"D-date!" Duo said in a bit of shock. "You consider this a date?"  
  
Heero smiled. "Don't you?"  
  
Duo watched in fascination while Heero turned around and held his hand out. He wanted to hold hands, this was a date. Suddenly Duo felt like he was surrounded by a sparkly pink background with bubbles and romantic music. His eyes were large with happiness (think of Shuichi/Yuki moment when you think of this)  
  
"He-e-e-ero!" He jumped on Heero's back, squeezing him in such an awkward looking hug. The other boy caught his legs and propped the sudden weight on his back hoping to god he wouldn't fall forward.  
  
"Do you have any clue just how heavy you are?" Heero ground out while Duo snuggled his hair from behind.  
  
Then Duo's head shot up and he pointed out toward the roller coaster, after noting just whom Heero sounded like at that very moment. "Now march on, Lady Utena."  
  
"You are neither Wakaba nor Anthy, and I'm not Utena, so please get off my back." Duo got down and Heero stretched out his arms. "Your impression of both of them sucks."  
  
Duo stuck out his tongue. "Spoil sport."  
  
Heero took Duo's hand and dragged him along for a bit, at least until Duo picked up his pace. The long haired boy was too stunned for words. Heero was holding his hand, and this had finally been considered a date. But, just how much of Duo Maxwell could Heero Yuy handle before going insane? The world may never know...  
  
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TBC  
  
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A/N: So much Gravi spoofage in this chap. I guess I should disclaim that and say, Gravitation belongs to Maki Murakami! Well, I just did ;) And Utena, oh Utena is excellent. I recommend both Gravitation and Utena to those of you looking for good manga/anime. And Inuyasha, and Wolf's Rain, and Gundam SEED, and Lupin III (I watch too much anime for my own good LOL.)  
  
Mercy me, I had 'way' too much fun writing this chapter. Relena the closet perv? What, you never know (everyone's too busy killing her off an.. -muttermuttermutter-). Come on, we all know Relena's the coolest!  
  
-crickets chirp-  
  
Well... okay, so not everyone thinks so (but you have to admit, she was cool in Endless Waltz!)  
  
You get the drill by now!  
  
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Dayzy- SHU AND YUKI!!! -squeeeees and runs into a wall- Heh heh, that was fun! I'ma gonna do that again -runs into a wall again- Poor wall o.o; Gravi, Gravi, Gravi, Gravi, how we loves thhhhheee ppppppprrreeeeeeeciiioooouuuusssss!!! Oh wow, sorry. I'm a bit jacked up on coffee and soda right now LOL. As for how many chaps. Errr, I dun wanna say, then people might stop reviewing, waah!  
  
Meepu- The only thing I could see happening out of a Shu x Duo is insanity... and Eiri and Heero trying to gut each other alive for not keeping their boyfriends on a leash. Episode 12? The big date episode (that and many other things sort of inspired me to write this fic in the first place) As for the tunnel of love, I don't even know if I'll stick that in there (I'm not a fan of clichés) But, if I do, I'll find some way to do it. I've got skills (actually, I've just got too much free time)  
  
Ink2- Maybe they'll get a mention. It's all about how it fits. You got to see Wufei in the first chappie (and we've all gotta love him!)  
  
LiLPixi- Thankie :D  
  
Thalia16- The dub voices are the crappiest I've ever heard, and they took away La Li Ho!! (how could they?! It was my favorite phrase!) I suggest getting the DVD's, watch it in English ONCE, and watch it in Japanese for the rest of the time. But, you know how it is. The only anime I've ever seen translated word for word with great dub voices is Angel Sanctuary (and trust me, if you thought Gravi wasn't a kids anime...)  
  
kitty kat 0303- Update ahoy! Thank ya :)  
  
Angel Reid- Oooo, dance -dances with you- Yaaay!!  
  
camillian- Thanks for mentioning that! It gave me the idea of giving Heero a reason for carrying around cash (but yeah, I'm not rich and never have been so I don't know these things) That was a big help, thanks =D  
  
inthefire2002- Yaaay, you're enjoying!! Just you wait and see. I've got a plan, but I'm not giving any hints (keeping people guessing is going to keep them coming back to read)  
  
Naraku-chan- Mooninites = God -smirks- Thank YOU! It is nice, is it not? Relena and Hilde are awesome! And I know how you mean. I have such a history with bad boyfriends, and since Heero's my favorite character I needed to make him nice. Him and Duo deserve each other -sighs all dreamy like-  
  
Gangsta Videl- Hallo! Come to feast your eyes on Bob-chan's uber weird fic have ya? W00t!! -hugs- Glad you like it =D  
  
Inuyasha-Luv-Kagome- Yo, love the name (Inuyasha x Kagome 4-evar!!!11) Eh heh heh, ya. But yes, too many 1x2x1 fics with great potential became stupid with random Relena bashing. It's NOT cool! But yeah, I am eternally in love with her and shall show the kick-ass side of her that DOES exist, mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha -cough- ya. Even though this fic isn't really about that, it's about Heero and Duo on a date =)  
  
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Final note: And now to be random!  
  
In A.C. 195.  
  
War was beginning.  
  
Heero: What happen?  
  
Quatre: Someone set up us the bomb!  
  
Duo: We get signal!  
  
Heero: What?  
  
Duo: Main screen turn on.  
  
Heero: It's you!  
  
Lady Une: How are you gentlemen? All your base are belong to us. You are on your way to destruction!  
  
Heero: What you say?  
  
Lady Une: You have no chance to survive, make your time. Ha ha ha ha!  
  
Isn't that basically how Gundam Wing is? XD Damn, I am WAY too easily amused for my own good. 


	5. Chapter 5

Miss Cupid: Chapter 5

Author: Freya

Disclaimer: Heero, Duo, Relena, and all those other sexy peoples are belong to Bandai.... and every other thing I really don't feel like listing.

Setting: A random pier somewhere in the U S of A.

Warnings: A/U, Shounen-ai, 1x2x1 fluff, probably OOC (it's A/U, expect no less) and attempt at humor.

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"Du-u-u-ude, let's do THAT again!"

Heero sighed and took his dizzy forehead in his hand. "Duo, we rode that thing four times already, and you've thrown up twice," he said, doing his best to not to relocate the two bile patches behind the roller coaster's gate with his eyes. "You've had enough, come on."

"You're right, I did throw up twice... and now I'm hungry." Heero blinked twice then toppled over with his feet twitching in the air.

"Well I'm not. And after that, I won't be for quite awhile."

Duo shrugged and pulled his last five out of his pocket. "Well, incase you change your mind, I'm gonna buy a bag of beef jerky big enough for us to share."

Heero watched, amazed by just how fast the braided boy could recover. Not only was Duo the craziest person he'd ever met, but he was also one of the most simple minded. Then again, it was only motion sickness. Since the two of them were no longer in quick motion, Duo being fine right afterward was understandable. How he could EAT after that, well... Heero didn't even want to know.

"Back." Duo took Heero's arm and leaned on his shoulder. "They didn't have any of the good kind."

"Don't eat, Duo. You might.... you know... "

Duo giggled and lifted his head up to look at his date. "You should've told me you hated it when people threw up, then I would've told you I get motion sickness sometimes."

The dark haired boy snorted. "It's not something I think about usually. But, if I did know, I wouldn't have taken you on that ride."

"Heh, and you wouldn't be the only one," Duo stated, taking a look around him. Truth is, having motion sickness embarrassed him, especially since he was one hell of a speed demon. He was pretty good at hiding that embarrassment by shrouding it in silly remarks, like the one about being hungry, which he actually kinda was. He did want some jerky too, right after some minty gum of course. The lingering taste of bile and barf breath wasn't pleasent to say the least, and he was damn sure Heero didn't find it very attractive either. He ended up buying the gum instead after not spotting any good brands of dried meat and decided to bare with the hunger.

Interesting how Heero still had yet to leave him after torturing the both of them on four consecutive roller coaster rides. Good thing Hilde or Wufei wasn't there, they'd jump straight down Duo's throat for that. Mercilessly, and right in front of his Heero, just to triple his embarrassment for good measure.

"I've still got a large wad of cash burning a hole in my pocket. Wanna ditch this place for awhile and head somewhere else?" Heero asked.

Duo smiled with a slight blush working it's way along his face. "What's with you? You've spent way too much money on me already. I'm going to have to bust my ass doing a crap load of community work for the church to be able to pay that load back."

"Who said you had to pay me back?" Duo's jaw dropped, and Heero lifted it back up with his finger. "I owe you one. If not for you, my night would be nothing but buy the stupidest looking skirts, the ugliest looking handbags, and the most uncomfortable looking shoes you can possibly imagine."

The other boy snorted. "I dunno, buddy. I can sure imagine a lot. Is that Dorothy girl really such a bad person?"

Heero shook his head. "She's not bad in general. She's a first class shop-o-holic and that's the only thing I can't stand about her. She does have qualities that're respectable, such as being able to hold her own against people and downing the annoying prep language." Heero and Duo took a second to shudder audibly, then laughed at how nsync that was. Almost as if one could read the other's mind.

"So, she's not a bad person, just a bad date?"

"Bad's not the word. More like a total nightmare. She doesn't really get out much, rather then with her father who spoils her rotten."

Duo flinched. "Well, I don't really get out much."

"I noticed, but you didn't blow off my wad of cash in under an hour on a bunch of crap, now did you?"

"Nope... " he answered in that way where you knew more was coming. ".... I inhaled all you bought me and exhaled it twice."

A throaty chuckle escaped Heero's slightly parted lips. He just couldn't help but 'really' like Duo. The church boy's sense of humor was too cute, just as cute as the ass length braid he wore and his quirky heart shaped face. Well, sort heart shaped. He had such a big smile and pretty, almost glittery looking amethyst eyes. A very diverse color they were, but it brought out Duo's character quite well in a way. That color supposedly represented peace and serenity. Though Duo's chaotic personality was anything but, Heero felt a strange sense of overwhelming relaxation around his psychopathic buddy-boy (when not near a whack-a-mole machine that is.) As if he didn't have to do or say anything, because Duo would do it all.

It wasn't like him to feel 'that' comfortable around a complete stranger, but Duo had such a genuine feeling about him. The fact that Heero could instinctively feel that Duo Maxwell was one of the good ones was enough for him.

Because so far, Heero's insticts never steared him wrong.

The jock boy wrapped a protective arm around his Duo and began walking out with him, easily threading through the ocean of annoying people that were in their way. Some of the people stared and frowned, but when Heero could see or feel it, he shot one bitch-ass cold glare right back at them. If anyone were to give Duo and himself a hard time about being two boys on a date, they'd be on a fast track to hell. A hell of a lot of pain that was.

Soon after leaving the crowded area, Heero and Duo walked up to a curb on the side of the road right next to a stop sign. This particular stop sign had explicit words spray painted all over it. Well, that's life in the city for you. "Maybe we'll come back later when it's less crowded." Heero said, taking a quick look at the stupidly crowded pier then back at Duo. "How long can you stay out for?"

The other boy just shrugged. "It doesn't matter. Sister Helen thinks I'm at Wufei's house right now. She thinks I'm spending the night there."

"Hn." Heero pushed back a few messy locks of hair away from his eyes so they'd quite poking him. "The old I'm-staying-at-my-best-friend's-house-for-the-night excuse. Heh, classic."

Just before Heero could speak again, Duo rose his hand to stop him. "No, I'm not on any special medication. It wouldn't matter anyway. Sister Helen doesn't even have Wufei's phone number."

"You think you can read my mind." An amused smirk played across Heero's face.

Duo stuck his tongue out. "And, what if I do?"

Heero reached into his pocket. "I'll call up my driver. He can take you and I anywhere in the city. Where do you want to go?" Heero asked while pulling out his cell phone. "Oh, and would you like to ride in a Jaguar or a Benz?"

"Uh.... " Duo scratched his head. "Which ever one you like more."

The one with the green snorted. "You don't think there's a difference?"

"A car's a car, right? I mean, the fanciest thing I've ever ridden in was Fei's Ford mini van. The piece of crap's really jacked up too. Almost as if he were teaching a blind person to drive it."

Heero began playing solitaire on his cell phone, seeing as Duo still hadn't given him an answer to either of his questions, and doubted he would for awhile since he was now in story mode. "What happened to it?" The dark haired boy was curious to know the rest of Duo's story for just the hell of it.

"His ex-girlfriend Meiran, or Nataku as we all called her, drove it right up against a McDonalds, on purpose!" Duo was stifling his laughter quite a bit.

The dark haired boy next to him nodded cuetly and seemed not too interested in the story. Duo paused, thinking briefly that perhaps he was just annoying Heero. Well, briefly was the keyword since Heero soon lifted his head from his game to meet Duo's gaze. "I was listening."

"I guess you'd have to be there to find that funny. Even though I wasn't there with her... but, the look on Wu's face was priceless when she pulled it into the driveway."

"Are all your friends as crazy as you are?" Heero inquired, now converting more of his attention to Duo then the game on his cell. "Why the hell would someone 'purposely' do that? If she broke a gasoline valve or the oil tank open while causing sparks the thing could've gone up in flames. And wouldn't someone have noticed?"

"It happened at night while the place was closed. She shattered quite a few windows and left very ugly scratch marks against the outside. As for your first question, that's why she slid the sides of the car against the joint rather then ramming into it. She was bloody pissed off at Wufei over some stupid thing with another girl named Sally Po. She also claimed McDonalds gives people food poisoning. She called messing up Fei's car and messing up that place killing two birds with one stone."

(Food poisoning? Nah, the only thing McDonalds does is make people fat.)

"Was he cheating on her?"

Duo shook his head. "Nah, not so much cheating. Rather just paying more attention to the things Sally would say rather then her, even though Sally was only helping in using his grades to get him into college a year or two earlier. Then someone just had to lie to Nataku and tell her Wufei was dating Sally behind her back. Naturally, she believed it since Sally was a really pretty girl and did seem to like Wufei a lot."

Some people, Heero thought. Teenagers, entranced in their hormone driven rage could believe anything. Teenage girls tended to be the bigger victims then guys. Hell, he didn't even want to know what Relena would do if he were still dating her, but found him here tonight with Dorothy or Duo. Along with being a closet perv, Relena had the most extensive, colorful vocabulary he'd ever heard. That girl could whip out cuss words that weren't used since the fifteenth century as if it were nothing and it drove everyone nuts. Not to mention she knew every language that ended in -ese fluently, where he just knew Japanese as a second language. Confusing people with her knowledge was her weapon of choise, and it worked well.

Obviously Duo's Nataku friend was quite creative as well. He would've never thought anyone would have the brains or the balls to 'carefully' reck someone else's car.

"Hey, Duo, you've evaded my question with your strange little story."

Two large violet eyes blinked in confusion.

"You know. What car? Where do you want to go?"

Duo shrugged. "Like I said, Wufei's now mangled shit mobile and an ice cream truck were the two fanciest rides I've ever had."

"And you're going to evade my questions again with the ice cream truck story?"

Duo sighed, but with a happy look in his eyes. "It's a funny story!"

Heero began dialing on the cell. "I'm sure it is, and you can tell me later. We'll just stop at some random place for a b... hi Bob."

"Bob?" Duo said giggling.

"Shhh," Heero said with the phone drawn tightly to his ear. "Yeah... yeah... alright. Hn... the Benz this time. Alright." Heero clicked the phone shut. "What's so funny about the name Bob?"

His braidedness calmed himself down a tad just to speak. "Have you ever looked it up in the dictionary?"

They paused... and Heero thought it'd be a good idea not to mention his 'dad' also had servant named Peter, though he was tempted, just to see Duo laugh some more.

"You're a gonna drag us off to somewhere bizarre, aren't ya Heero-buddy?"

Buddy? Strangers, dates, now buddies, all in a matter of (Heero checked his watch) two and a half hours! He wondered what they'd be next: lovers, enemies, dick-wads, who knew? Duo was way too unpredictable for his own good. Then again, learning about your partner was the fun of having a blind date, whether it was accidental or not.

"You just wait. I advise you to call front seat now because Bob's a pretty reckless driver."

"Hey, I can handle crazy driving. Think back to Nataku. She had her license revoked for extreme road rage." Duo sighed. "I miss her. She moved away almost as soon as her a Wuffers broke it off. That's why you'll see him get pissy around public display of affection. He misses his girl... even though she did kinda screw his ride over."

"He wouldn't be the only one," Heero stated, seeing as public display of affection rather bothered him as well. He considered having his arm wrapped around Duo or holding his hand in public to be tame. But, deep throating your partner with your tongue and sliding your hand down their ass pocket drew the line.

Heero shook that thought out of his head, though. Duo was causing him to get side-tracked with all the discussions of his friends. Hell, Yuy knew more about Hilde, Wufei, and Nataku now then he did about his own significant other... if you could even equipt Duo with that title yet. His mind converted back to the motion sickness issue once he looked down at his pure silver watch and noticed that Bob was going to be there any minute.

"Duo, you wanna take the front seat with Bob or the back seat with me."

A sly and very playful grin quirked on Duo's much-too-cute face. "You, duh. I bet Mr. Bob isn't as fun to play Lady Utena with."

"You'd BETTER not jump me again," Heero warned while rubbing one of his sore shoulders.

Duo tossed his head back in a happy chuckle. "Fine Grandpa, I won't throw out your back again."

Heero shook off that remark and patted his 'buddy' on the shoulder, with a little comeback of his own just burning on the tip of his tongue. "If you're sure you want to take the back with me then. I'll just tell Bob to take it easy or he's fired."

"No. Don't go and do that. I'll be fine, really. Besides, don't you want the front seat? Usually people like that more."

Heero sighed. "Either I tell him to take it easy or you're taking the front seat. S'your choice. I just don't want my car yacked in before I'm old enough to drive it." He looked around to try to scope out any sign of his sweet car that was about to come. Nothing quite yet. "And no, I'd rather sit in the back, with you."

There was no point in arguing with that. Though, Duo loved riding in a moving vehicle at a fast and reckless pace. His stomach however...

The boy ran his hand over Hilde's Mooninite t-shirt for a moment, happy he didn't mess it up any back at the pier. That could be different if in a car though, and Hilde worshiped Aqua Teen Hunger Force. His ass would be on the back burner if he recked one of her favorite shirts. Heero wanted to sit next to him too. With a proposition like that, who couldn't be tempted? But, his dare devil side was eating at him. The poor boy was so confused.

"He's here," Heero announced, taking Duo's hand. "So choose. You ride shot gun or you sit with me while I have Bob ride the speed limit."

Duo giggled. "Bob."

"Duo!"

"Kay, sorry. I... I don't know."

The car honked at them, and Heero decided that if Duo wasn't going to give him an answer, he'd just have to give Duo one for him.

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TBC

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A/N: Heh heh heh, YES!!! Heero and Duo are getting a tad bit more serious now -smirk- Yeah yeah yeah, I know gundam pilot Duo wouldn't have motion sickness, but this is an A/U so of course it's supposed to be different =P At least he's a speed demon, so it does rather keep him in character.

Much love to those of you who understood my random joke back in the last chapter. All Your Base shall rule us all!

Thank you _so_ much for your reviews. Some of them were pretty supportive. I don't usually update fics as fast as this one. Heh, I'm surprised I wasn't described what kind of horrible, bloody death I "deserve" because I'm a big Relena fan in ANY of my reviews yet. I appreciate that SO much. Thanks for sparing me!!! Please continue, along with sending your many generous and honorable reviews -fawns over the ones I have so far- Happy trails, may all your dreams be full of hot yaoi-ful bishounen engaged in sweaty, moany, night-time fun, because you all deserve it ;)

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Meepu- XD, even though Heero was supposed to be Utena! You think Relena's trailing them? Hell, I don't even know where she is -looks for Lena-sama- Wait... oh yeah! She's playing as my muse for this whole story (since my other ones are on vacation at the moment) She IS trailing them because it's giving me ideas for this story.... or something XP

Angel Reid- Yaaay, I feel loved! -sporks over some love of her own- I hate whack-a-mole, that game is pure evil. I'm glad Duo killed it, heh heh heh heh...

Inuyasha-Luv-Kagome- Yus! I don't even have to try very hard to make Relena cool either XD

Dark Kaizer Ken-Wolf- Of course they're on a proper date. How could they resist each other :)

Kitsunes Shinigami- Eeep, I've read my share of depressing fics. This one, however, is just plain silly. Well written? Heh, if you say so (though I've seen much better)

pUnK-RoCk['s Sk8ter chic- XD I can't even afford those pants. Heh, thanks. I won't leave ya hangin' =D

blingblingbabe- You more of a 1xR fan? (I actually have an idea of a 1xR fic!) Heh, yeah, I love Relena to pieces so she stays nice. Hilde too! Bashing is so unnecessary most of the time. Yaoi fans are aloud to love girls, cause I sure do! As for Relena romance? Well, you'll just have to stick around and see ;)

Gangsta Videl- All your base are belong to Heero and Duo! My brain's been stuck in the stupid gutter for... ever I think XD. Yes, welcome to Bob-chan's world of insanity Videl-sama, can I take your order?

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Final Note: Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.


	6. Chapter 6

**Miss Cupid: Chapter 6**

**Author:** Freya

**Disclaimer:** Heero, Duo, Relena, and all those other sexy peoples are belong to Bandai.... and every other thing I really don't feel like listing.

**Setting: ** A random places somewhere in the U S of A.

**Warnings:** A/U, Shounen-ai, 1x2x1 fluff, probably OOC (it's A/U, expect no less) and attempt at humor.

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"Duo, talk to me," Heero said in a some-what apologetic voice. "Please talk to me?"

Duo abruptly _'hurumphed'_. This was beyond insulting his minor problem with motion sickness. Father Maxwell drove faster then Heero was letting Bob drive. Hell, he wasn't the only one who noticed that either. Cars from behind them swerved past them, honked at them, and jeered at them. The braided boy was pretty damn embarrassed to say the least.

"Why should I?" Duo sneered, especially after one chunky lady drove by whilst flipping them all off. "You might as well just take the whole god damn night just to drive me the hell home. This sucks!"

Heero gulped then sighed. No one could stand to see a pouty Duo for very long. "Drive faster, Bob."

"Dude, I thought you'd, like, never ask," said his driver in surfer-boy accent. Bob floored it!

"Woooo, this is more like it," Duo said happily with that angelic smile of his once again surfacing to greet the world. "Even though Nataku was much more hell-cat when it came to the road."

"Want me to go faster, Moon-dude?" Bob was about to turbo charge the car, but Heero stopped him just in time. It was his precious black Benz Odin bought him for his fifteenth birthday at stake here. He didn't want Bob crashing it into anything, nor did he want Duo making sick inside of it. He earned a few comments about what a pansy he was from both his date and his driver. Neither one of them had any say in it though. This was his car damn it! If anyone throws up or has a freak accident in it, it's him.

"Moon-dude?" Duo inquired. What Bob said before began to register to Duo once he stopped teasing Heero. Well, his t-shirt did have the Mooninites on it. He thought of a better name though. "Not Moon-dude. Call me Moony." Duo had a devious smile on his face that told you he was thinking of something good.

"Is there much of a difference?" Heero just had to ask.

The amethyst eyes sparkled in amusement. Especially the part where he so randomly laid down, resting his head on Heero's thighs. Teasing his date did wonders for his entertainment. "Sure their is.... Padfoot."

It took a minute, but once Heero finally got the joke it became one of the funniest things he's heard all night. Yeah, sure, first they were Anthy and Utena, now they're Sirius and Remus. Pretty soon they were gonna be like Sakura and Tomoyo, Shuichi and Yuki, Adam and Steve, Beavis and Butthead... Well okay, there was no way in hell Beavis and Butthead were romantically involved, but they 'were' a dynamic duo to the bitter end.

"Yo, dudes, where am I takin' ya?"

Duo thought about that for a minute, then it struck him but good. He knew where he want to go, he knew. Heero noted that frantic look on Duo's face too. He had a feeling that this was going to be very... interesting.

"Bowling!"

Heero sunk back into his seat trying to hide how suddenly terrified he was. He sucked ass at bowling.

"You mean, like, the bowling alley that's, like, by the roller skating place?" Bob asked taking a sharp turn. Duo braced himself a bit and sat up. When Heero saw that action his stomach did a sudden back flip.

"Damn it, Bob! Slow down!"

"Heero... " Duo was looking a bit green to Heero. He knew he shouldn't have told Bob to go faster, and now his overly cute date and his precious car was going to be a major mess.

Duo began to retch in Heero's direction, and the stoic jock began to panic.

"Shit, BOB, PULL OVER!!" Heero never felt like so much of a wuss in his entire life, but he hated vomit with a passion. So much, he could be legally deemed an emetophobe. He was pissed when he spotted his idiot driver laughing. "You're just begging to get fired."

"Relax, Moony's fakin' it." Heero turned toward Duo who flashed him a peace sign and stuck out his tongue. Of all the.... if anyone said that Heero was both enraged and embarrassed, both would be the understatement of the year.

The fact that Duo and Bob were both laughing directly at him cased him to temporarily snap. His right hand shot out, firmly fisted a chunk of Duo's shirt, and shoved him backward into the car door. That was Bob's cue to hit the breaks. Coincidentally it was on a red light, but still. Heero's left hand was fisted, shaking, while poised right about Duo's head. "You'd better NEVER fu... " Heero froze.

Duo just stared up at Heero, not making a single move to defend himself. 'Is he mad?' Heero thought to himself. The more he stared down at Duo, the more those violet colored orbs asked him, 'you gonna do it, or what?' It was crazy to say the least.

Heero was brought back to his senses once Bob began to ride on green, and he could finally see past his anger. It was only a harmless joke, he didn't have to go ballistic on Duo. The braided boy wasn't even going to defend himself. What kind of man would Heero be if he threw a fist at someone defenseless? Especially if it was for a reason that got stupider and stupider by the second. He let go of Duo's shirt and fell back on the seat roughly. "I... shimatta.... bakayarou... "

The punk's eyes fell shut and shot open as he listened to the way Heero was speaking. He was bombarding himself with insults in a language that Duo couldn't identify to save his life. Well, by the tone of it that's how Heero was sounding.

"Heh, what language is that?" Duo managed to squeak out.

"Nihongo," Heero responded in monotone. Duo never heard of it.

"Uh... and what country do people speak that language?" Duo was only trying to lighten the mood by changing the subject. Obviously, Heero wasn't about to let that go any time soon.

Heero muttered something that Duo didn't quite catch. "Pardon?"

The boy flinched when Heero's head shot up. He thought the prussian eyed teen was going to attempt to strike at him again. Instead, Heero reached his arm out and pulled Duo into an awkward hug. With his breath hitched, the long haired one reluctantly returned the embrace and rested his head on Yuy's shoulder. At least his date wasn't attacking him any longer.

Heero began to gently breathe out more foreign words in his partner's ear. 'Nihango.' Duo thought. 'They sure don't teach that at our school.' "Gomen'nasai," Duo recognized that one already. Well, he didn't know what the hell it meant, but Heero had said it at least ten times. "Onegai-shimasu.... forgive my stupidity."

Well, for finally saying something in English, Duo snuggled soundly into Heero's shoulder and tightened the embrace a bit. "On one condition, buddy."

The rich boy's tense body relaxed itself ten fold. Duo could practically sense the relieved smile on Heero Yuy's face.

"Anything... "

"Tell me, what country that language you were just speaking comes from so I can remind myself to eventually learn it."

That got his attention. Heero let out a bit of a throaty chuckle. He never got a chance to say, since Bob decided now was a good time to chip in his two cents.

"Uh, dudes, I've been parked here for, like, five minutes. Listening to you two kiss and make up any longer's gonna, like, have to cost extra, kay?"

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"Yikes! Fifth gutter ball in a row," Duo said as a fuming Heero stomped his way back up to were Duo was keeping score. "And you call yourself a jock?"

Heero stood in front of the bowling ball return, snorting and shaking his head at Duo's comment. "No, I don't. I just dress like one."

"Why?" Duo just had to ask.

"I don't know. Why did you dress like a punk rocker? A female punk rocker even."

Duo grabbed his own bowling ball from the ball return, purposely brushing his arm slowly across Heero's while he did so. "One, because these are Hilde's clothes, not mine. Two, because I'm gay. Three, because you like it." So to spite his uptight... not-really boyfriend, he stuck his tongue out at Heero then bowled a strike just to rub it in. Heero couldn't believe Duo. That braided monster bowled three strikes in a row, and the best he got down was eight pins... resulting in 7-10 split of all things.

"This sucks," Heero muttered under his breath. The game ended about an hour later, and Duo having whopped Heero by about eighty-six points made him very happy. Needless to say, Heero really wanted to do something else.

"You're just lucky this place is cheap." Heero whispered to Duo and took his hand. The place wasn't really packed, so he wasn't hesitant to show his affection toward his momentarily self-absorbed other. Not to mention Duo picked out the type of bowling alley that had the nifty black lights and played unnecessarily loud music as well. No one would spare them a second glance. Hell, with that hair and those clothes, he doubted people from afar would even be able to tell that Duo was a guy. And they picked the isolated corner of the alley, so they were pretty much far away from everyone. It made them safe from filthy looks or crude remarks. He took Duo's other hand, just to take this opportunity a bit farther.

"What?" Duo began feeling a bit uncomfortable with the way Heero was looking at him. Those eyes, those warm blue eyes, they tore right into him. He could see his face's reflection in them, and that alone was enough to make his face flush right down to his shoulders. His not-so-steady breath was suddenly caught in his throat, and he began trembling horribly. No one ever looked at him like this before, and he wondered briefly what kind of vibes he was giving Heero.

He wanted to know what was on Heero's mind.

What was he thinking?

Why was he suddenly acting this way?

God, those eyes.

That face.

That body.

That Heero... Duo was taken by all of it.

He wanted Heero so bad that it was beginning to hurt. The fact that he was living one of his dreams felt... was... almost... impossible.

If this wasn't another one of his dreams that is.

"You're glowing," Heero suddenly said, and it caused Duo to snap out of his trance. "Your shirt is glowing." It was the effects of the black light was making the Mooninites glow.

Duo blinked, took a step back, and turned away, all very quickly. "O-oh, it is!" He let out a nervous laugh, and his stomach had a cramp from hell in it. Butterflies people called them? No, he felt like someone'd just used his innards as a punching bag. He felt so shook up... vulnerable. Heero made him weak in the knees.

"Are you scared, Duo?" Heero tried to rest his hand upon Duo's shoulder, but that access was firmly denied.

"Who's scared?" Duo risked usage of his voice which betrayed him up and down when it came out. His voice cracked three times with each syllable.

The Japanese boy didn't know what to say to his buddy. Looking down at his watch, he confirmed the fact that him and Duo had knew each other for a total of almost four hours. So little time, and he felt as if leaving his braided one was no better then committing a sin. He wanted this violet eyed youth for his own. There was no denying it. Duo had such a hold on him right now. An inexplicable bond was placed between them the moment their eyes met one another. And this whole explanation is becoming so freakin sappy it's driving us all crazy.

"No kidding," Heero muttered.

"What was that?" Duo said, feeling the tension in the air begin to thin. "Did you say something?"

"No." Heero reluctantly grabbed Duo's hand and planted a small kiss on his cheek. "Let's get out of here already. This place is about to close anyway," he requested of Duo, yet his reddened face pointed toward the wall. He kissed Duo... sort of. He couldn't look at that spunky teen now until his affection was either accepted or his ear was chewed off. All he could do now was hope it wouldn't be the latter.

Duo touched the slightly wet spot on his cheek and stared, just stared at the back of Heero's head.

That's what Heero was thinking.

Heero wanted to kiss him.

Heero.... liked him?

Duo shook that thought off. The heavier this got, the less he wanted to chance anything... so he didn't dare ask... or even think. He tightened his hold on Heero's hand and stood beside him. This was purely the sappiest moment he had ever experienced in his entire life. It both sucked and felt good.

"Last one to the door is a rotten egg." Duo pecked Heero's ear and ran up to the front door.

'Just how long till we're standing at the alter?' Heero thought to himself. Just how long...

**--------**

**TBC**

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**A/N:** Damn, I wanted to get this in sooner but 's been bitching off on me _-kicks it-_ How's THAT for shounen-ai fluff? :) Fluff! When I see Heero and Duo together, they just scream cuteness. So do Quatre and Trowa =D One can never have too much fluffy yaoi (or smutty yaoi... if only allowed it -_growls-_) I just had to add a Moony and Padfoot reference, didn't I? (I luff Harry Potter ;) ) I'm a fan of too many things for my own good. GW reins supreme at the moment, my bunnies aren't going anywhere. I won't let them! _-shnugs them- _

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**Angel Reid-** Bob is god... whoever he my be :)

**inthefire2002-** You know, so can I XD;;; And I also go crazy over Bob's name, so I had to. And the Mooninites rule! "Bow down to your digital ruler!" "We smoke while we flip the bird." Damn CN for only playing it on Sunday now ;.;

**sophisticatedshoes-** Most guys at my school dress like that so I know how it feels. It looks good on Heero... but not on them ;)

**Skarlet Red-** I know. I'm just trying my best to avoid the F-bomb. I've said all the other words at least once in this.

**Kitty Kat 0303 - **There's my update. Glad you're enjoying =D

**Hikaru-** Of course it's gonna stay 1x2. If it says 1x2 on the front, that's exactly what it is and exactly what it stays ;) It's my favorite too after all!

**Inuyasha-Luv-Kagome-** Bob!! Nataku rules!! And so do the Mooninites!! Yeah!!! Hey, that had three exclamation points XXXD Yeah, I'm way too easily amused.

**Ink2-** It'll seem long because that's what this whole fic is about. One big date the Yuy and his braided god go on =)

**Dark Kaizer Ken-Wolf-** Yaaay! Thanks :)

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**Final Note:** Mary had a little lamb, her father shot it dead. Now it follows her to school between two slices of bread XD

Also, this fic plans to be anywhere from 8 to 12 chapters long. If I can get over a hundred reviews by the end, I am so sequaling it. Later _-flies away-_


	7. Chapter 7

**Miss Cupid: Chapter 7**

**Author:** Freya

**Disclaimer:** Heero Yuy is the bitch of pilot 02 - 05. How's _THAT_ for saying he's not mine? ;3

**Setting: ** Some random places somewhere in the U S of A.

**Warnings:** A/U, Shounen-ai, 1x2x1 fluff, probably OOC (it's A/U, expect no less) and attempt at humor.

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"Yo, Moony! Dog-boy! I, like, got you dudes presents!" Bob said, eagerly handing the two boys Christmas gift bags. "Thought I'd, like, do something while you dudes was off bowlin' and stuff."

"Hey thanks," Duo said with a very cheesy grin on his face. It was interesting, receiving a gift bag with a picture of Santa Clause on it in the middle of Spring, but what the hell'd it matter? It was a lovely gesture and he was very curious to see what he'd gotten.

Heero was the first to open his gift and snorted. Bob was one of the crazies, so of course Bob was going to get him a crazy gift. "Uh... thanks." He pulled a leather collar and leash out of the bag. "Is this supposed to be a gag present or were you just high when you bought this?"

"You think he was high for buying _that?_ Check out what he got me!" Duo pulled out on bag of pipe cleaners and a box of tampons. "Bob, gay guys don't PMS."

"I know that," he said whilst laughing and turning up the radio. It was playing Metallica, school version no less, so it twas the ke-wl! "Tampons are awesome!"

Heero and Duo came to an obvious conclusion at that very moment. Bob............ has issues.

"No dudes, seriously. Try, like, flicking one into someone's mailbox. It's a gas, dudes! Me and my amigos used to, like, do it all the time. It's funny!"

The braided male just stared at the box of Kotex Fits. He then shrugged and figured, _'ah hell, it's rude, but it's still funny!'_

"Wanna give it a shot, Heero?"

The stoic jock snorted and shook his head. "Not really. If you don't mind, I have a better idea for them." Heero took the box and stuck it under his seat.

Duo quirked a curious brow. "What're you planning to do? Use 'em?"

Heero shook his head, randomly thinking back to earlier that evening when Duo made Relena cough up her milk shake with that _'are we gonna have a baby?'_ comment. Needless to say, Duo thought he was playing the man for the most part right now, and Heero was his bride.

_'Not a chance in Hell,'_ the boy thought to himself. "You'll see. What I have planned will be the _real _gas."

"A real rip-roaring one?" Duo said, then happily stuck out his tongue. Hey, references to farting were always funny when you were as goofy and easily amused as he.

The dark haired boy nodded. "You'll be roaring alright. With laughter." He smirked.

Well, that was a good enough answer for Duo. He hadn't a clue just what kind of gag a boy like Heero Yuy could pull off. With tampons no less. Ol' stormy-blue-eyes seemed like more of the head-first into fist-fight type rather then a sleazy trickster. The punk just sat back and wondered the possibilities a little more. Well, at least until Bob chimed in with a little remark about the whole ordeal.

"Not gonna, like, do it? Man, your dongs are tiny and useless!"

Duo stuck his tongue out at Bob then raised his hand into the air. "Oh yeah! Well, prepare for a pride obliterating bitch slap!" He slapped Bob in the head and the goofy driver said 'ow' in a mock-whiny voice. Oh, this meant war.

"I DID know something I DIDN'T!" Bob said randomly. Duo just stared at him for a moment... or three.

"Shit, this guy acts more stoned then my Uncle Howard does!" Then he went back into angry mode after that random realization. "Oh yeah! Well, I hope you can see this because I'm doing it as hard as I can." He flipped Bob the bird.

While he was flipping Bob the bird, Heero was tapping on his shoulder... so much it became irksome. "Quiet, Heero, I'm transmitting rage."

"You're being a dork." He deadpanned.

"SLAMMED!" Bob yelled then tooted the car horn a lot for the spur of the moment. What? He was laughing so hard he felt he had to pound his fist against the horn. Surrounding drivers began getting annoyed with him very quickly. "Moony got dissed!"

"Moony doesn't get dissed by a... " Duo turned toward Heero and looked at the top of his head. It had a pink pipe cleaner on it for some reason. "... uh, Heero." He pointed right at it. "Why?"

"While you and jerk-off were in Fairy Land, I got bored."

The pipe cleaner was pink, and could only remind Duo of one person at this time. "Yes, _cup._ I'm sure you did."

Heero looked up at the digital clock that came attached to his Benz's C.D. player. The green numbers on the clock-radio read quarter past one. On a normal date, he would've been out of money right about now. However, he hadn't even spent a hundred bucks on Duo, and it made he wonder. Why didn't he ever try dating a guy before?

"Heero," Duo said while snickering loudly. The Japanese boy was pulled out of his musings to feast his eyes on what his psychotic date was laughing so much about _this_ time. Needless to say, he was a bit stunned to see the first shape Duo made with his pipe cleaners... and at the same time, he kind of wasn't.

_'I really must be crazy because I'm dating a male Relena right now.'_ Heero thought to himself.

"Waddya think. Ain't it purty?" It was four pipe cleaners to be exact. Two of them made the length of a penis shaft with the ends of both of them shaped to make a head, the tips of the cleaners rolled together a the top. And the other two attached to it made the shape of two balls. Yeah! A mighty work of art that it were.

"Sure. I see it every morning when I take a leak." Heero answered in monotone. Well, not exactly. He was struggling a bit not to laugh. Damn, people were such a bad influence on him.

"That's not, like, what I think it is, is it, dude?" Bob inquired while taking a look at the suggestive shaped object in the rear view mirror. "That's boss-ly shape-age their, Moony. That gonna be, like, your first dildo?"

Duo suddenly felt heated with embarrassment and chucked the object at the driver.

"You do know I'm paying this man, don't you?" Heero asked his date, wondering just how much of a raise Bob was going to demand for _that_ one.

Duo huffed. "I'm not desperate enough to use dildos! My fingers are just fine." He immediately covered his mouth and blushed horribly when he realized what he'd just said.

"Too much info," Bob said and chucked the offensive shaped pipe cleaner thingie out his window. "I mean, like, really."

"I know," Duo squeaked out, feeling more embarrassed then he ever had in his life.

Heero sat back and smirked, arms crossed and feeling quite arrogant. "Now you know how I felt when you pulled that motion sickness gag... no pun intended."

Violet eyes blinked. Heero was right, he deserved that one since he didn't get that punch in the face he'd been expecting. What got to him though, was that Heero was only concerned about the fact that Duo felt embarrassed. Was the dark haired boy not going to ask something crude? Something like _'you did wash your hands before this date, right?'_ or something. Yuy was from another planet, no questions asked.

"Y'all wanted to go back to the pier, right?" Bob asked, breaking the pregnant silence of the vehicle. "It won't be so, like, crowded anymore. Dude, Yuy, you should show Moony the, like, spot."

"I was planning to," Heero answered.

"The spot?" Duo asked curiously. "Like, some kinda teen hang-out thing? Like the ones you see on T.V.?"

The other boy shrugged. "I guess so. Only Odin paid for that area, so only him, myself, and invited guests are allowed."

"So we'll be all alone, at night, or should I say really early morning, at a reserved spot, by the beach, by ourselves, just the two of us, and all that stuff?"

"Mm-hm." The jock-ish clad one nodded his head and spotted that said spot right up ahead through the wind shield.

"Great," Duo said, sounding a bit unsure since he really didn't know what expect from this. "Just great."

**--------**

**TBC**

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**A/N:** Hot damn! Another chappy rolls itself into play. Pipe cleaners are cool ;) Lotsa ATHF spoofage, especially from everyone's favorite pimp daddies (a.k.a., the Mooninites! ... duh!) Uber funny chapter to make up for the last one's sap.

So yeah, I don't think my updating has been so bad (for this fic anyway) I'm sorta on-and-off when it comes to my other beloved fandom, which is none other then the lovely Inuyasha one. So, I was storming through the Inuyasha x Kagome section and I come across an author called RozeFire. One of her fics got over 8,000 reviews! Eight _freakin _thousand!!! I've _never_ seen such a thing at this site before... that's damn impressive. They must really know how to attract a crowd, shit!

I also started playing some video games just to prove I could get my ass off of the computer every now and then. So, I go and yoink Final Fantasy VIII out of the dark void (a.k.a., my bedroom closet) I play it for the first time in... lets say, two years? (and got past the Squall/Rinoa dance scene this time) and realize: _SWEET! FFVIII = teh YAOI secks _O.O (back when I played FF games I didn't know jack squat about Yaoi's existence) Funny, how half (and I do mean half) of my very first ever Yaoi couple came from _'a'_ Final Fantasy game (not saying it's VIII) From a gag me and an old friend of mine have going.

Hey, I betcha guys can't guess what Yaoi couple it was! I betcha, I betcha, I betcha XXXD

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**Angel Reid-** Nuuuuuu! You'll **never** find my tickly spot, n-not... saying I have one of course... oh wait, D'OH! Errr, yeahyeah, snoggage!!!! Would you like that to come in strawberry or chocolate? Mmmmm, chocolate covered bishie = yum ;D It could match Heero's hair! And marshmallows could match that... other stuff... that's gonna be in that... oh wow... Should this fic still be considered PG-13 after what I sort-of said?

**Ink2-** Amen to that, buddy.

**inthefire2002-** Yus!! More glow-y Ignignot and Err!!!! And maybe Duo will teach him to enjoy life more. Who knows? Maybe Heero can reach the nether regions of Duo's mind and find............ tap dancing penguins? Ooooookay _-needs morning coffee **badly**-_

**Skarlet Red-** I _KNEW_ I made that chapter too sappy. Well... I can get away with it since half this fic _IS_ romance. But still... put up with my craptacular effort to keep this story balanced and you'll be my hero!

**fiery-icicles-** I know! Heero and Duo can be the 21st century's version of Romeo and Juliet at this pace XD;;;

**MELM-** S'alright! You're reviewing now, aren't ya? Wow, not reading from a familiar fandom are ya? Uber thanks for reading and reviewing!! That's flattering =)

**ahanchan-** Duo and Goku do have much in common XD

**Depp's Girl ForEver-** Will do the best that I can :)

**Meepu-** That long?? LMAO, just kidding XD

**Inuyasha-Luv-Kagome-** HOCKEY!!! That's the only sport I can play and enjoy at the same time. Goalie was what I did best and yadda yadda... MAJOR CONGRATS =) And yes, Bob is important. He rules us all, along with the flying monkeys and the chocolate covered bishies! Moony and Padfoot are the kyooote _-squish- _

**Dark Kaizer Ken-Wolf-** Great question, Heero! We all know he wants to marry Duo and then be O'braided one's fluffy uke from now to forever more...... and all that ja-a-azz.

**Hikaru- **1x2 forever! Hell, if I ever did a fic where either one of them was with someone else that would come first. Like, if I put 1xR in a 1x2 fic, that would be first, and Heero wouldn't go back to her after breaking up. I wouldn't have the girlie go stalk him either, cause that's boring and cliché (not to mention I love Relena so she gets no crap from my strictly Yaoi-gasmic mind. Just the Yaoi, in which she can watch and drool with the rest of us fangirls! We stalk Heero as much as she does. She's one of us!)

**camillian-** Will do =)

**Gangsta Videl-** Mwa ha! Two times the Bob for two times the pleasure! Uh... don't take that the wrong way, my pants say **'exit only'** XD And yes!!! Losta gravy!!! Gravy covering a slab of meat! What kind of meat? You tell me, Videl-sama!

**Ari-** Yay for everything!! Heero? The Heero whom I've proclaimed The Perfect Uke (rather then The Perfect Soldier) Homophobic? Nah, I'd never do that to the Yuy. He's my favorite bishful bundle o' love, so he be the good guy :) Even though bad guys are sexier most of the time.... Heero doesn't even have to be bad to be sexy. That takes some serious balls there.

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**Final Note:** We now interrupt even _more_ of your time to give you a public service announcement!

**Heero:** Ozonians are the suck!

**Duo:** We Gundamites are far advanced beyond anything.

**Trowa: **Your third dimension is cute.

**Quatre:** We have five..

**Wufei:** -thousand!

**Quatre:** Yes, five-thousand. And we can jump!

**Trowa:** Observe _-jumps two inches off the ground-_

**Duo:** We smoke while we flip the bird!

**Heero:** Look! Are Treize and Zechs _mooning_ us? Commence re-mooning at once!

(They do so!)

**Relena:** _-gets a nose bleed from seven bare bishie bums poised into the air then passes out- _

XD She likes big butts and she cannot lie! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! _-runs insanely around in many circles until she eventually runs straight into a flagpole- _Ow... XP

Urm... whether or not the boys got high during the making of this announcement is your choice entirely. This is a recording... Freya, out _-blip- -blip- -blip-_


	8. Chapter 8

**Miss Cupid: Chapter 8**

**Author:** Freya

**Disclaimer:** It ain't mine for the eigth flippin' time! Why don't you go sue someone who molests children instead XP

**Setting: ** The spot! Can ya dig it?

**Warnings:** A/U, Shounen-ai, 1x2x1 fluff, probably OOC (it's A/U, expect no less) and attempt at humor.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Your dad _owns_ this place?" Duo inquired with quite a bit of enthusiasm behind it. "Sweet... "

What they were staring at was a rather large area of beach that Duo had been curious about for many years. A couple of times as a kid, he tried sneaking into this area, yet got forced out by a bunch of guards. Those weren't some of the fondest memories he could ever recall, and every now and then he hoped to be able to hang around this place.

The chances a guy like Heero Yuy owning this place was a million to one, but alas, he owned it. It was Heero's guards that kept him away from one of the most serene and interesting looking part of the beach all those years.

"You like it?" The stoic boy had to ask, though it was pretty obvious. Duo was awe struck... but in a good way.

"I never... never thought... " Duo stopped and collected his thoughts. There was questioning it now. Relena's little accident was pure fate.

Heero took his hand gently and they walked along the tide. Duo cursed himself in his mind once he realized Hilde was gonna have a cow about getting her pants filthy and wet with salt water and sand. Or perhaps not. It was one of her older pairs and the bottoms were shredded from stepping on them.

"Heero... I don't mean to state the obvious or nothing," Duo began and noting the full attentive look Heero was giving him. You don't... you don't just fall in love with someone in a matter of hours, do ya? Not even watching the movie Titanic around a crowded room full of weepy, sensitive chicks made him feel half as mushy as Heero was. He felt weird, too weird. "but... do you think we're taking this date a bit too... "

"Quickly?" he concluded. And it's been five hours since they first met. Already they were able to complete each other's sentences now. Usually it took friends anywhere from a year to many years to be able to accomplish that. Not Heero and Duo. Oh no, this was beginning to look like star-crossed-lovers crap.

"Shit, this is weird." Duo was blushing, but in the night that kind of stuff was hard to tell. "I mean, what the hell are we? Jack and Rose?"

Yuy snorted and shook his head. "Or, maybe Jack and Sally."

Duo squinted. "Nah, they take awhile to get together. More like Jack and Jill."

"Is it just me, or does Jack get with a lot of people?" Heero asked, the mood immediately lifting from awkward to delightful. Duo stared at him for a bit, then burst out laughing.

"He's just like Prince Charming, Jack is."

His date quirked a brow. "How do you mean?"

"Well," the braided one started, then cleared his throat to sound like this explanation needs to sound professional. Too bad the laughter he had trouble stifling was getting very much in the way of that. "Prince Charming gets with a lot of people too. You know, Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, and so forth. Has it ever occurred to you that Prince Charming might be a pimp?"

Duo broke out into hysterical laugher, followed by Heero who was laughing just as abruptly as his partner in crime. Prince Charming a pimp... who would've thought such a bizarre thing? Well, obviously Duo, since him and all his friends lack of what you might call 'a life.'

"What, so I'm a pimp now?" Heero asked, still laughing a bit. "Wanna fetch me my cane?"

"What? Now you're _my_ Prince Charming?" How many jokes Duo was able to pull out of his ass this night was astounding to him. Even more, how many jokes he was able to pull out of a boy like Heero was even better.

"Would you have it any other way?" That particular question was whispered in a tone Duo only recognized from watching television. Seductive, Heero was being a sly little bastard.

"No, I wouldn't. Hey, since Prince Charming and Jack are two famous figures from lovey-dovey crap, you think they're secretly dating behind everyone's back?"

Heero took a minute to ponder about that one. It was a really good question. What _did_ Prince Charming and Jack do off camera? "I don't know. If you become Jack, then they will be." Heero took a moment to smirk at Duo's awed yet amused expression.

"But... first I was 'Who the hell are you?', then I was Anthy, then I was Moony, and now I'm Jack? Who am I gonna be next? Ying? Alpha?? Frodo???"

"Of course. And I'll be here to be your Yang, Omega, and Sam."

"You're such a sap, Yuy. I think you've been hangin' around girls like Relena for too long."

His jockish-ness couldn't help but laugh at that one. Never was there a person in the world Heero thought was more sappy then Relena. She got sappy to the extent that it was funny. Usually, it was all a ruse just to cover up her depraved side. He didn't know her sap was rubbing off on him so much. He supposed his own buddies weren't kidding when he said he and Relena were like twins.

"Hey, Duo. You spent most of the night talking to me about your friends."

Well, that was a random comment if Duo ever heard one. Totally off the Prince Charming topic, but he bothered to respond to his Yuy anyway. "Point being?"

"Well, Relena isn't my only friend," he began and started walking up away from the tide, up to where the sand was dry so he and Duo could have a seat. "It's funny. This romance we seem to have is flowing very quickly, yet... you know more about Relena then you do about me, and I know more about Hilde, Wufei, and Nataku more then I know about you."

Duo's amethyst eyes fell shut and he squeezed Heero's hand a bit. "Well, if you have two other friends then lets hear about 'em. Chop-chop Yuy, let me know everything about your otherwise boring life before I fall madly in love with you." His braided one winked. Well, Duo _was_ the most exciting thing in the Yuy's life as of right now.

"That's not the point I was trying to make," Heero explained. "But, one of my friends... one of them, with the exception of Relena, is why I agreed to take you out."

"How so?" Duo had a hunch this was about the jerk-wad he would've dated had it not been for Relena's timely bodily functions.

"There's another boy at our school that's just like me, only he's a hell of a lot more popular then I am... in a way." Heero cleared his throat, recalling his other best friend. "His name's, Trowa."

His sort-of boyfriend did a double take. "Barton!?"

"You know him?" He know Trowa's level on the social food chain was pretty good, despite the fact that most other people trash talked him. He was gay too. "How do you know him? He's a senior."

Duo snorted. "As if I haven't met any seniors. But, damn that's freaky."

"How so?"

"Hilde's dating his sister. She told me all about them. How Trowa's gay too, and how he got dumped by some... oh wow... " Duo blinked a couple of times. "... uh Heero? The guy I was originally supposed to date was the one who used and dumped Trowa... isn't he?"

Heero sighed. His boy figured it out, even though he promised Trowa never to speak of this. At least not to this depth. Nothing more embarrassing and cruel then to be dating a straight man only to be crushed in the end. Heero hated what was going to be Duo's date ever since. He really had to speak to Relena. She was too naive for her own good.

"Yes. Just, do me a favor." Heero sounded almost desperate.

Duo placed an angelic smile on his face. "Anything for the guy that saved whatever self-esteem I've got left."

"This conversation about Trowa. It never happened."

Duo could see where Heero was going with this. Though this kind of thing never happened to him, it almost did, and he could sympathise. "Right, my lips are sealed, buddy."

Then Duo had to ask. "Can you introduce me to him sometime? The more the merrier on my dangerously short friends list."

Heero nodded. "Sure. I'll even introduce you to his boyfriend Quatre, even though he goes to another school." He took a moment to cringe. "A boarding school."

"Yeek, suck ass," Duo squeaked out. "Poor guy. If they knew he was gay, would they smack his knuckles with a ruler?"

Heero shrugged. "Wouldn't surprise me. Though I could more imagine a mob of robot like kids beating him with a crucifix. That's a mean ass school! I even went to it... for awhile."

"How long were you there?"

"About three months. Lowe wanted to turn me into a classy person, but after awhile I said screw it. That man is like putty in my fingers. It took, oh... about ten seconds of me holding a swiss army knife up to my neck to get him to transfer me to a public school."

Duo chuckled. "Nothing like suicidal children to make a politician look bad."

They paused. Heero had never felt so delighted to hear such a thing. "Someone finally understands my intensions. When Relena found out about that, she went ballistic. Trowa said I was nuts and Quatre suggested I go into theorpy."

"Wufei tells me I need theorpy every day."

And there you have it. Heero and Duo were both crazy as hell. Oh what fun!

Fate was sure dealing a lot of mean hands that very night. Heero and Duo were now connected in so many friggin' ways, it wasn't even funny anymore. These boys were spooked. Was Relena Peacecraft the real reincarnation of Eros, or was she just having a blonde moment? Either way, that girl had a magic touch. Hilde wasn't kidding when she said Relena would find Duo the perfect one. It didn't matter how she did it... but she did it.

"You know, Heero. On Relena's next birthday, I'm gonna get her a bow and arrow set." It made sense. Cupid has arrows!

"That's seven months from now," Herro informed whilst leaning his head on Duo's shoulder. "You think we'll still be dating then?"

"Is that a challenge?" Duo couldn't resist a good challenge... or a good boyfriend-to-be.

"More like a proposition. You keep being you and I can see myself still dating you seven months from now."

Duo smiled and rested his cheek on to top Heero's head. "Alrighty. To seven months it is then."

_Or perhaps longer..._

**oooooo**

**TBC**

**ooooooooo**

**A/N:** And... we're almost done! One or two more chapters left, WITH a sequel right on it's tail! You've all been so good to me. Lotsa support makes the Freya a happy author =)

I will update this fic in exactly one week from now, OR until I get over 100 reviews. It's your choice. Let your voice be heard. Tell me something completely random for all I care. I tell you a whole bunch of random crap, now bother me with yours.

Oh yeah, and for the person who left me the Bob definitions and acronyms..... XXXXD I was thoroughly amused! Me and my buddies at livejournal enjoyed it. Now, responses responses...

**ooooooooo**

**Angel Reid-** Hey! Congratulations! That's the third chapter in a row you've reviewed first for! Good things come in threes, mwa ha ha! Girlfriend? Chocolate? Why do you have everything I want?? _-sniff-_ Lucky person. Oh well, I've got my endless train of 1x2 thoughts to satisfy my pervish thoughts ;) Spork over some chocolate for them! They're in the mood _-evil smirks-_

**fiery-icicles-** Fingers, fingers... oh yeah, that would be very embarrassing. Especially in front of a spicy babe like Heero, yikes! LOL, I'm so mean XD

**Hikaru-** Gross? Nah! I wouldn't go so far as to say 5x2/2x5 is gross. Overrated, yes. Unlikely, most definitely. Without a proper reason, most of the time. But gross, nah. They are cute together when it's strictly a 5x2 fic, and a 5x2 fic where Duo and Wufei don't fall in love just for the hell of it, or have Heero or Treize come in between them. You want a real gross pairing? 13x5! _-gags-_ In my opinion, strictly. No offense to _anyone_ who likes it.

**Inuyasha-Luv-Kagome-** Heero and Duo covered in chocolate = best thing in the world XD

**inthefire2002- **Dare I make Relena seem cool :) Well, she is! If I think she is then she's gonna be in all my fics. And who cooler to be compared to then Duo Maxwell? Even though the real twins are her and Heero. That's why 1xR to me is a first time, one time couple. They're too much like twins. She should adopt Heero and make him her brother instead. That way, they could both get closer to Milliardo, team up, and annoy the crap out of him classic Older v.s. Younger siblings style. Oooo, I gotta jot that one down and add it to my pile of fic ideas XD

**camillian-** He probably was but was being too macho to show it. I dunno. Some guys sure don't seem to mind talking about jerkin' their wads around one another, I didn't think it'd have to be any different in this case. Oh well, shall the intensity heat up? I dunno, you tell me.

**MELM-** 1) I know, but being reminded is always fun! 2) Yaaay, I'm glad it possessed the ability to do so. 3) Well, you just read it, did you not ;) 4) I know! That made me feel like such a loser for a minute there. 5) Who's stopping ya? 6) I did! 7) Thanks _-blush-_ 8) Awww 9) No, don't stop! 10) LOL!

**Kitty Kat 0303-** Random is teh kewl ;)

**ahanchan-** Cool it were? How about this one?

**Dark Kaizer Ken-Wolf-** Look! This one's even faster XD

**Ari-** Well, they didn't make out (damn... ) They just cracked a few stupid jokes as usual. See, humor fic! Ha ha ha, funny! And some added sap to laugh at as well, because one like me cannot take sap seriously :)

**Skarlet-** Not too shabby for a secret spot, eh?

**Nellas Saralonde-** If I knew I was that funny I would've tried writing humor fics sooner.

**Ink2-** I had a science teacher named Bob. He was the coolest teacher I ever had. He watched The Man Show and The Simpsons XXXD He also said that he was Satan, that fire was cool, and he let me get away with drawing near pornographic Yaoi! Yep. Bet nobody else had a teacher that cool XD This is a true story too! I swear on the holy Yaoi sanctum it is XD

**Gangsta Videl-** That's a lotta white o.o Eeep, hates us all, Videl-sama. It likes to confuzzle us with it's tyranny. No matter, I still luff you, and your Angus beef, and your ability to laugh at my inappropriate humor =D

ooooooo

**Final Note-** What's scariest? Barney the Dinosaur, Teletubbies, Pikachu, Hamtaro, or death?


	9. Chapter 9

**Miss Cupid: Chapter 9**

**Author:** Freya

**Disclaimer:** Bob owns us.

**Setting: ** XP

**Warnings:** A/U, Shounen-ai, 1x2x1 fluff, probably OOC (it's A/U, expect no less) and attempt at humor.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Dude, you dudes, like, were there for three hours, man. What'd you do?" Bob's inquired, his voice sounding evil as all hell. He was accusing them of something inappropriate.

For the third time that night, Bob was driving the boys off. This time though, he was driving Duo home. Well, not really home since he was expected to be at Wufei's house. Bless the Chinese boy for his momentarily stupid moments. He gave Duo a spare key to his house for no real reason, well, besides the fact that he took it from Nataku and just _had_ to give it to someone else. He had no use for spares and felt uneasy about just throwing it in the garbage. Duo had carried it in his pocket a lot ever since.

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know?" Duo mocked childishly. "We'll _never_ tell!"

Heero laced his arm around Duo's shoulders and whispered, "Duo! You're making it obvious." His irked tone was only meant to be playful.

Bob of course, took it the wrong way. Heero had no idea just how convincing he could be.

"Dude! You really _did_ do it?"

"No!" they snapped in unison, and far too soon for their liking. Now they'd never hear the end of this, Heero especially.

"Sure." The driver's words were just pouring with sarcasm. The rest of the drive there was pretty much silent, besides Duo's occasional yawns and Heero's sleepy groans. He'd never had a date that lasted up to after four o'clock a.m. It was different, and he was used to being well asleep by this time. Duo never had a date period, so he was trying not to make the fact that he was tired too obvious, just incase he wasn't supposed to be.

Bob reached Wufei's house in a little less then fifteen minutes. The boy's house wasn't too hard to spot. He lived on the borderline of the rich and pour side of town after all. Not hard to find at all, since the houses all looked so homey and cheerful. Unlike Duo's side of town. The stereotypical, run down, dirty part of town where all the gangsters thrived.

"Yo, we're here," Bob said whilst honking the horn once to get them to wake the hell up from their sleepiness. It was so obvious they were both tired. Their eyes practically matched in glazed form from the exhaustion.

"Shhh, Wufei's a light sleeper," Duo grunted out. "It's a good thing his parents are out of town, as usual." Then he briefly thought about what it would be like if there was a wild party thrown at the Chinese boy's house. Of course, Wufei would do no less then cut out Duo's tongue and jam it up the silly boy's nose if he so much as suggested it.

"Want me to walk you to the door?" Heero asked in attempts to ease the panicked look on Duo's face. Hell, it worked, since at that instant he was tugged by his arm out of the Benz.

Duo looked goofy, Heero noted, but in a good way. The bouncy but sleepy teenage boy looked just as happy as he felt. This date went better then he thought it would, and he had some new friends to make once the holiday break was over. He also had a swell person to introduce his own friends to.

"Heero, this date was beyond awesome," the braided one stated truthfully once they were in front of Wufei's door. No sign of his highness, so the car horn obviously didn't wake him.

Or did it?

"My sentiments exactly." Heero took a brief look down at his watch. Eight hours. He and Duo knew each other for eight hours now, and now they were at the kiss good-night scene. "I don't think I've ever met anyone as crazy, obnoxious, and... interesting as you."

Duo beamed at the words. Yep, those described his character rather nicely. "That's a good thing, no?"

"It's a very good thing." Heero wanted to think of something else to say since he really didn't want to be leaving Duo so soon. "Wanna do this again?"

"S-sure!" The question caught Duo a bit off guard since, yeah, this was the infamous television kiss scene he'd been anxious to get over with. He never kissed anyone before. This was going to be quite interesting. "Do I get to kill another whack-a-mole machine?"

The jock boy chuckled and grabbed both of Duo's hands with his. "We'll see," he answered and slowly caressed Duo's knuckles with his thumbs. This one was an amateur obviously, so it was only natural that Heero made the first move. It just had to start with the hands. Heero liked Duo's hands though, so he didn't really mind. "Um... "

"Do you have any idea how much you're blushing right now?" Duo stated, his words cutting through Heero's clouded mind. Well, that just proved it. Heero as every bit as much an amateur as Duo was. Neither of them had kissed another male, but Heero did kiss Relena before so at least he had some level of experience on kissing itself. Not very much though. Him and the blonde girl never got any privacy, so nothing special was shared. This, however, was the moment of destiny... or something.

"I wouldn't talk if I were you. You're trembling ferociously." All they could do for five more minutes was stare at each other, and they'd even broken out into a sweat.

Why the hell was this so damn hard?

Suddenly, a stream of horrendous honking came from Heero's Benz. It wasn't just any honking either. Bob just went and triggered the whole friggin' car alarm just to break the boys out of their awkward, pregnant silence. Well, it worked, and Heero scooped Duo into his arms and kissed him fiercely. A rather shocked Duo returned the kiss and moaned at the twisted feeling in his stomach.

Such a good feeling. But, all good things eventually came to an end.

"Ahem!" the more than annoyed voice of a certain short tempered teen just barked from the front door, startling Duo so much that he fell backward off the steps in front of Wufei's front door and landed in a bush. He wasn't thinking. His mind was too hazy from Heero's much too excellent kiss. "Why couldn't you set off car alarms and make out with your boyfriend in front of _Hilde's_ house?" a tired and angry looking Wufei said while he roughly helped Duo up out of the bush. "Wait... boyfriend?"

Wufei did a double take on Heero then a take on his current attire, which consisted of a t-shirt and boxers with little puppy dogs decorated on it. Being presented in front of complete strangers like this wasn't his idea of dignified.

"That's right. Boyfriend," Heero answered before Duo, putting the long haired boy in utter shock. Sure, he expected they may date a few times more, but to go so far as to be considered a boyfriend. That was deep, but he certainly wasn't about to deny it. It's what he wanted after all. "I take it you're Wufei. Nice underwear."

"Shut up," Wufei said in a bit of a strangled voice. "And yes, I am. What's it to ya?"

"Well, for starters." He walked up to Duo, completely awing him by placing that warm arm back around his shoulders. "Duo is my boyfriend. And he's told me a lot about you, so that makes us friends, right?" Heero extended his arm out to Wufei and nodded once.

Wufei felt a bit uneasy. For months, Duo had done nothing but complain about the only good guys he ever knew all being straight. Then, out of the blue, Mr. Right just happens to pop up in front of his door, very early in the morning, to announce he and Duo were together. Something smelled fishy, but hey, whatever stupid mistake Duo made wasn't his responsibility.

He reluctantly shook Yuy's hand and decided to accept this... spontaneous _'boyfriend'_ for the time being.

"What is your name?" Wufei asked abruptly. Keep friends you trust close and the ones you don't trust closer. He wasn't going to be satisfied with this preppy looking boy until he at least knew his name.

"Heero Yuy." Wufei's jaw dropped momentarily, but Duo helped it back up with his finger. The Chinese boy wasn't amused by his friend's actions or his taste in men.

"You have a really rotten name in the school, Yuy. I don't trust you," Wufei admitted bluntly and shoved his hand away after shaking it. "Do anything to hurt Duo, and I can assure you, I won't be the only one to rip out your nuts and force feed them to you."

"You and Hilde won't have to touch him. He isn't bad," Duo chimed in, sounding absolutely sure of himself. Hell, he'd be the first to admit that he got a bad feeling about Heero's attire at first, but inside, his Heero was different. Wufei was just goinng to have to learn to deal with that.

"Whatever." With that, Wufei began heading in, dragging Duo along by the arm. The only reason Duo would be at his house this time of morning was because he didn't feel like staying at the church.

Heero felt hurt from all the suspicion, but that was to be expected. He had a terribly slandered name at that school, because of breaking up with Relena, having a legally challenged father, a homosexual best friend, and a whole bunch of other shit that came from a loserly guy like himself. Yeah, that was definitely enough leverage to get other teens on your case. He was surprised Wufei was so nasty with him. Then again, if Duo liked the ill mannered teen enough to put up with his attitude, Wufei obviously had a good side to him. He just wasn't about to let a complete stranger see it.

"Good night, Heero," Duo said with a cheery smile on his face. Well, Duo did see him in ways Wufei couldn't even begin to fathom, so that notion alone did make him feel a bit better. He waved good-bye to Duo and walked back to his car. Bob was patiently awaiting.

"Dude, you like him a lot, don't you?" Bob asked in the most humanly voice he could manage. Well, okay, it still sounded silly, but sweet. Heero nodded once and slipped into the back seat. That spunky teen whom he agreed to date out of sympathy became the most important thing to him in just one night. He just hoped Wufei would see the good side of him too. He wasn't the playboy or the troublesome asshole at that school, and he'd go out of his way to prove it for Duo. Being a teenager could outright suck when you fall in love like this.

Well, it was over now, and the start of a new relationship has dawned. With crabby best friends, two freakishly different personalities, and a pretty stupid school on the borderline of sexually neutral and homophobic, what surprises lay ahead of Heero and Duo?

Only spare time and large wads of cash could tell you.

**oooooo**

**End**

**ooooooooo**

**A/N: ** With an ending like that, you know I have to sequel it ;) Here's the title:

Cult Cupid

It's a corny name, but there is a reason behind it. Plus, this is the cupid... thing... uh... I dunno.

Keep a close eye out for it everyone! It'll probably be twice as long as this one, perhaps even funnier since I have the power to drag _all_ of my pimp pairings into the sequel, YUS!!! In a perfect GW fic, with my pimp pairings, we have 1x2, 3x4, 6x9, and others that you'll just have to wait and see for.

THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS!!! I've got to go back to school next week, so all this support has made me feel like I can accomplish something good. Thanks for everything, you guys rock harder than you'll ever know.

And now to stop this embarrassing gushing, here's my response to your godly reviews! Keep 'em coming for the sequel! My updating might decrease because of school, but not by much. I'll force time out of my schedule after all you've done for me. It's the least you deserve =)

Shit, shut me up. I'm gushing again o.o;

**ooooooooo**

**Gangsta Videl - **That answer is so true. Just imagining it will give me nightmares _-holds Videl sama closer since she's already so firmly attached to me- _ Use your super Videl powers to ward it away, I'm too much of a wuss. I'm can only shower my victims with my inappropriate humor n.n;;;;

**Angel Reid -** Second aint too bad. Hey, at least you're one of the most faithful ones (if not, you are the most faithful one :D) Awww, fine, the girl stays with you. I've got my filthy imagination to keep me company ;) Heero and Duo thank you for the chocolate, and to prove it, they're bathing themselves in it right in your living room! Check it out!

**Skarlet Red -** Ya, poor poor Trowa. But, I think of all the G-boys, he's the one that gets the lease amount of angst so... _-shrugs- _just trying to be original.

**ahanchan -** You think so? Well, you just sit tight and keep a close eye out for it. Won't be long until it's posted!

**fiery-icicles -** I took your advice completely. They shut up... and they kissed XD Just for you!

**Ink2 -** He was the coolest teacher I ever had. Too bad that was two years ago -_sniff-_ I wanted to take archery in school, but only forty kids could be in archery and over a hundred signed up for it. Of course, knowing my luck, I didn't make the cut. Stupid school _-kicks it- _

**inthefire2002 -** I like thinking of corny yet meaningful quotes for Duo or Heero to say. They are very fun to play with in fics. And yes, I agree. Teletubies are very frightening.

**camillian - **Did it not just do that ;) Hope you liked this one!

**MELM -** 1) Thank you very much! 2) That would be scary XP 3) No? 4) Like I said, no one's stopping ya. 5) No, don't stop! 6) That's so sweet. Dun worry, I miss my precious F-word anyway o.o; 7) It did, but it's got a sequel coming so don't worry. 8) I never want your review to end! XD 9) GO YOU! 10) You're welcome ;D Thanks for reading!

**Dark Kaizer Ken-Wolf-** Aww, thanks. I didn't know I had the power to make humor fics. This one surprises me n.n;

**Inuyasha-Luv-Kagome -** So did I. It's so obvious since they're Disney, classic fairy tales, and sappy love show's two biggest pimp figures! (I'm so obsessed with Yaoi I scare me!) Thank ya! Hope to see you at mah sequel :D

**liliku -** Yep!

**ChibiNekoSakura -** _-waves Yuki & Shu flag-_ WOO HOO!!! I need to write a Gravi fic sometime.

**Hikaru-** I know. And I will. I don't even really like 5x2 (I like 5x1 more XP) But, this fic isn't labeled 5x1, it's labeled 1x2x1, and that's what it'll be. Trust me, I write what I say I'll write and that's that.

**Muchacha -** Awesome! It's the end now, but keep an eye out for the sequel!

**ooooooooo**

**Final Note: **What else is there to say, besides happy rest of the summer and hope you enjoyed reading this fic as I enjoyed writing it! Peace out my homies (I did _NOT_ just say that o.o;;;;;;;;)


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